Assumptions aside, the actual reasons people over 55 most commonly give for relationship infidelity are often quite different than those reported younger people doing the same thing. In 2016, 20 percent of those older than 55 reported having sex outside of marriage, while only 14 percent of those under 55 said the same, according to the Institute for Family Studies’ Nicholas Wolfinger. Importantly, this difference cannot be explained by differences in sex, age, race, or education.
This study reveals surprising trends among those who do. Middle-aged Americans in their fifties and sixties are more likely to have sex outside of marriage, and there are many reasons why.
Long Term Problems In The Marriage
When there are regular unresolved fights at home, a pattern can set in wherein the couple continues to be unhappy. When any of them look for an affair, they are looking to flee from dealing with the issues in the marriage, and be comfortable with that ’new more exciting person’. It is telling oneself that the problems do not affect anyone and life can continue in a better way with a parallel support.
50 and sexy
Today’s 50+ both women and men feel sexy and sexually alive. They embrace life and feel confident. They are also more independent and with an empty nest, can make new decisions for themselves and look for new adventures. In many cases, they just love the excitement of an affair after years of being with the same person.
In a recent survey by a UK-based extramarital dating site, surveyed 4,000 of its members, approximately 2,000 men and 2,000 women, about their cheating habits. Among female cheaters, 57% said they felt love for the man with whom they were having an affair. But in fairly stark contrast only 27% of the men surveyed said they loved their mistress. As indicated by this informal survey, women who cheat are much more likely to want and/or need an intimate emotional bond with their affair partner — even simply to believe they have such a bond, though the man may feel differently.
A product of our time
“Perhaps the propensity for extramarital sex is a product of what people experienced while growing up, not a question of how old they are,” Wolfinger wrote, author of this study. “People born between 1940 and 1959 report the highest rates of extramarital sex. These were the first generations to come of age during the sexual revolution, so it’s understandable they are more likely to have sex with someone without their spouses.”
Since Boomers’ formative years came in the 1970s, when the sexual revolution was in its stride, they may have experienced different kinds of sexual encounters. Those born in the late 1950s may have even had swingers for parents. Indeed, people in their fifties and sixties have had more sex partners in their lifetimes than their older or younger fellows.
Boredom does not help
Also, people who find themselves alone at home for long periods of time, perhaps when caring for young children or even after children are grown and gone, can feel that their lives lack excitement, and they may use casual sex or deeper romantic affairs to fill the void.
In many cases, some people cheat because they receive little sex or physical intimacy from their spouse, and a sexless relationship may not be acceptable for some. People of all ages enjoy the feelings of being wanted, needed, and desired.
Cheating Baby Boomers love to experiment sexually
Sex has always been and will always be an integral part of a marriage. While some people are quite content spending the rest of their lives having sex with the same partner for many years, others prefer to experiment more as a need, rather than as an option. It perhaps makes them feel sexually powerful and more adept than others.
Cheating men need to be needed
When men feel that they are not needed by their wife anymore, they look out for some other woman, who can understand them and make them feel special. As an obvious outcome of a new relationship, they get that feeling from the other woman. And suddenly when they are showered with attention, which they haven’t received in a very long time in their marriage, they toss their hands in the air and get deep into the new hot and happening relationship.
