Smiles
Hello . . . It’s Robo Calling
The FBI … is on its way to arrest you. The IRS … is coming to seize your assets for unpaid taxes. A free vacation in paradise … is waiting for you. Press 1 and you win. Welcome to robocalls – computer-automated messaging. From social security scams to free Walmart gift cards, robocalls invade our lives. Based on present growth ra...Read More
After 50 Matters!
Freedom. It’s underrated. I’m not talking about the freedom to hang out with Russian spies in the Oval Office or to write fake news tweets. I’m talking real stuff. These days, with security breaches, internet hacks, and White House leaks, most of us believe that our personal freedom is declining. A Gallup Poll found that the U.S. ranks #21 in the w...Read More
A “Rain-A-Geddon” Weekend
Today’s Living Retired is presented by the Umbrella Manufacturers Association whose slogan is: ‘We keep making umbrellas because you idiots keep losing them!’ This past weekend residents in the Midwest and eastern North America suffered through three days of torrential rainstorms! How bad was it? Well I know you’re going to...Read More
When Your Wife Says ‘THE DEN’… She Means ‘THE DEN’
If you are a married woman, what you about to read may incite a violent action. I’m talking about something even worse than opening the kitchen cupboard that sets off a Tupperware avalanche! “Hello 9-1-1!!! This is Eunice Entwistle calling. I need help! I’m buried in a gazillion plastic containers and mismatched lids. It’s reaching all the way up t...Read More
How Old Do You Have To Be?
How old do you have to be to get only one candle on your birthday cake? How old do you have to be before it’s OK to back out of your driveway without looking? How old do you have to be before the only way to find something lost in your house is to buy a replacement? Let’s face it. Life is funny. We have to laugh about things like body parts ...Read More
Stick a Fork in Kitchen Renos
The survey numbers don’t lie. 82% of married couples say renovating their kitchen increased the value of their home. 18%– husbands with big screen televisions– said, “We have a kitchen?” Everybody agreed: the kitchen makeover pushed their family debt to a level equal to the rate of inflation found in the countries Putin invades. So let’s examine wh...Read More
Transform Your Husband into Fabio
Ladies. I’m telling you. It’s like I’m a new man! It began when my wife gave me my gifts for Christmas. Bang! Just like that I’ve been restaged. I’M ALL NEW FOR 2017! Jan is onto something so special that I’m convinced she’s discovered the perfect elixir that can transform millions of football obsessed, Frank’s hot sauce crazed, beer guzzling baby ...Read More
The ON Button. The ON Button! Where’s It Gone?
The kids call me Techie Nana. So why can’t I find the “on” button? In the old days there were two buttons, on and off. They were basic like vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. Then we upgraded. On and off morphed into a “power button”. Wikipedia calls it a power symbol. As technology went global, someone decided that English words should be rep...Read More
Resolutions? No Thanks! I’d Rather Do Jokes!
The new year had arrived and the day after the ball dropped in Times Square we were packing the car and heading home as our holiday visit was coming to an end and it was time to say good-bye. I made a resolution not to cry as I hugged my son and we quickly got the dreaded moment over with to try to avoid feeling sad. It was only the second day of...Read More
Living, Loving, and Laughing – After 50!
THANKS to AFL friend, Dewey Seeto who just sent these along! Gotta laugh, gotta love ’em! I’m betting you’ll see either yourself – or a significant other in your life – in at least one of these jewels! Enjoy – and THANKS, Dewey! A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest ...Read More
Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving, Eh?
Thanksgiving Day in Canada. It is a day many will give thanks… and prey that Donald Trump loses. Before I dribble turkey giblet gravy down my pants, I will attempt to explain why Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October, whereas in the United States they wait until late-November. The short answer is that Americans are way too preoccupied i...Read More