Donna Ryan / Lifestyle & Retirement

Pulling For The Correct Emotions

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He proudly smiled as after years of hard work he is pulling the last coupon out of the loan booklet and the car is his.  A week later he gets the rug pulled out from under him when he is told during the yearly inspection the car has some problems.  He pulls his emotions together and agrees to pay for the necessary repairs in order to pass the inspection but holds off on larger problems to research his options.  I saw the disappointment on his face but was inspired by how he did not go into victim mode or make emotional rash decisions.

We live our lives with goals and sometimes on this journey we stumble and get bruised.

She went to her mailbox and pulled out the jury duty standby notice she was expecting.  Like many she was anxious but knows doing the correct thing is important and begins the calling process where her number was finally pulled on the fifth night.  It was going to be a day filled with wind and rain and she worried about travelling as she has not commuted in a while. She tried her best not to let the anxiety take over her.  It turned out she received a ride to the courthouse and was pleasantly surprised when after only four hours the clerk informed the room it was a slow court day and they were all dismissed and will not be called again for four years.  She will get paid $40.00 and smiles as she waits for the bus.  It was cloudy but despite the horrible forecast on the news that morning there were no raindrops.

We live our lives with fear and anxiety on this journey but sometimes karma shows up to reward us.

These are two examples of how emotions pull us into negative or worrisome thinking.  We are faced with anxiety, annoyances, disappointments, rude behavior and situations where we want to be emotional and react every day.  Change of plans or fear of the future scares us because we are going into the unknown.  We all want to stay in our comfort zone and the familiar.

There have been days I want to pull the covers over my head because I do not feel like I am strong enough to get through certain events.  Someone will touch me and push the covers away and reassure me I don’t need to be strong as they are there to help me.

Not everyone is going to pull for me when I post an article and sometimes if I do not receive a comment or thumbs up I get frustrated and cry.  All of a sudden I will receive a message that says thank you for sharing and I immediately know it was the right thing to do.

I think back on the week my sister and I pulled a few all nighters while my Mom was ending her journey.  Despite our sad and broken hearts we were able to hold onto each other and smile knowing she was not alone and was leaving with love around her.  My sister and I have pulled through many things and being together saying goodbye to our Mother confirmed we will always have each other.

I have had the wool pulled over my eyes trusted and loved and was hurt so bad I did not know what to do or say or if I could even go on as the pain was terrible.  By the grace of many I still remain injured but I no longer am totally broken.

The point of my writing this today is to remind myself and all who are reading this not to let emotions pull us into making wrong decisions.  What might feel like the right thing to do this second may feel horrible months down the road.  Our actions and words define character long after the emotional moment passes.

When I feel like all of my energy is pulled out of me I workout, take a walk, cook or bake, read a book or magazine, volunteer, make a phone call, write in my journal or blog.  I do things I enjoy and have found sharing the experience of both happy and painful times and being accountable helps enormously.  I get stronger by saying yes to myself and I think of all the people that are pulling for me.

The days I felt were the worse turned out to be the best because I always pull through. I have learned so much about compassion, kindness, strength, patience and love.   I now try my hardest to not pull away and get sad over a storm, setback or challenge.  I try every day to push my brain to the thought of new possibilities and see things as new opportunities to grow.  My favorite line is you get further with yes than no so I keep trying.

There are lessons and teachers among us every day.  It is not always going to go as planned but stay on the journey and never allow yourself to be pulled down.

For now his car is pulling its own weight and he is banking the $366 which was the car loan.  He, by the way, is my husband.  She will be receiving her jury duty check and I will be adding it to that same account.  We know a new coupon book will be in our desk drawer but together we patiently wait because after 34 years of marriage we have learned good things are worth waiting for.

Pulling together with those who love you make emotional and confusing times easier.  When all else fails, never forget there is someone above who is pulling all the strings of our lives and once you believe you will know in your heart wherever you are right now is exactly where your meant to be.
Editor’s Note:  Visit AFL member Donna Ryan at her website:  She says, “I have always thrived on inspiration. I love reading it everywhere I can find it. I am 55 and it has been a journey with many twists and turns. I invite all 50+ women to join me in discussions on this second chapter. Our road ahead is fun and exciting because these truly are the best days of our lives.”

I thrive on inspiration; I read it every day and I try to live and share it through my actions. Stepping out of our comfort zone can be very frightening. I have learned that I will never grow if I don’t face fear! I encourage all women to join me on this sometimes weird and scary adventure. Let’s discuss all sorts of things from makeup colors, to recipes, books, funny jokes and everything in between. We are on this journey together so let’s gather around and share our stories, dreams, and goals as well as happy and sad times too. You name it; we can do it! We are fifty something and these are the best days of our lives. No matter what the circumstances you are living you are only a keystroke away from friends that care! So join the circle of the 50plusstickingtogether friendship chain. Let’s keep learning, growing and inspiring each other together. It’s Never Too Late!!! Visit AFL member Donna Ryan at her website:

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