Emmy’s, Oscars, Grammy’s. Every year we honor the number one hits in television, movies and music with awards and celebrations. I sometimes wonder if the ordinary person deserves awards too. In the quest to be number one do we sometimes lose sight of what is important?
I am a huge fan of the award winning performer Adele and could not wait to watch her performance on the Grammy’s. Due to some audio and technical difficulties out of her control this performance was not perfect however I felt she continued with grace and dignity. It saddened me a few days later to hear her say on a talk show how she cried for a number of days due to embarrassment following the event.
I realized being a star may not be all that it appears to be!
When young we are so hard on ourselves and hearing her story is an example of losing sight of what is important.
It happened to me too!
On August 23, 1980 at the age of 21 I wanted the perfect performance. I was the young bride who yearned for the spotlight! It turned out I was angry and upset as my father who once was strong was nearing the end of his journey with pancreatic cancer and in his weak and frail condition walked me down the aisle to give me away. I felt cheated as I knew everyone would be focused on him and the illness versus me. The poor Donna mentality hung with me for many years. Now that I am 56 I feel very disappointed that I described that day as one of my saddest for it definitely was a number one hit. My father was alive to walk me down the aisle. He was there!
Oh how I wish 35 years ago I realized that moments are not measured by the breaths we take but the ones that take our breath away. Now that I am older myself I can better see things through my father’s eyes. This sick, weak man mustered up the courage and strength along with his dignity to give his daughter the greatest gift of her life. He definitely deserved the number one hit award.
If I only knew then what I know now. Wisdom is such a wonderful thing!
Adele I am sure will think back on her performance many years from now and say WOW, I sang at the Grammy’s. I was there! How many people get the opportunity to do that! I know she will smile like we all did watching her and say I was great!!!!!
There are disappointments and tests in life that sometimes hit us hard. Just last week our two-week old brand new car with only 211 miles got hit badly while parked. Here my hard working husband came off the train after a long day and was greeted with this huge dent. The person simply hit it and ran! Yes, the immature Donna briefly returned and ranted, raved and cried until the adult returned. I focused on something peaceful in the situation and it was simple. We are all alive to talk about it. It is simply a moment in time.
I am confident I will never receive an official award in this lifetime. I am grateful for the occasional rewards that life presents me with like our new car. I now realize however things do not make me a number one hit. They come and go!
Each day is the scene of the story so I must enjoy every one and they do not have to be perfect performances to make them number one hits. It takes some work and I still make mistakes but I try hard not to get angry when I have a day with something negative.
The number one hits are the days when we continue to belt out the tune despite the technical difficulties and be proud of each and every performance.
Dad I used to laugh and say I was the son you never had as I was your constant fishing buddy. I didn’t always like going with you but now I sure am glad I did.
The little moments with big memories.
That walk down the aisle had some technical difficulties. I remember thinking to myself how I never in my life heard an organist play here come the bride as many times as we needed it. It took us quite a while. You deserve an award as you gave me your best performance and for this I will always be grateful. We did it!
Dad, I wish I could tell you in person but I know in my heart you can hear me; I thank you for that beautiful walk. I became your little girl once again and it definitely was a number one hit for both of us.
Editor’s Note: Visit AFL member Donna Ryan at her website: http://www.50plusstickingtogether.com/. She says, “I have always thrived on inspiration. I love reading it everywhere I can find it. I am 56 and it has been a journey with many twists and turns. I invite all 50+ women to join me in discussions on this second chapter. Our road ahead is fun and exciting because these truly are the best days of our lives.”