Donna Ryan / Lifestyle & Retirement / Relationships

Good Job

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No matter how good a job we do I  wonder  why negative situations take away the joy of the positive.  I am doing my best to not revisit painful times as they serve no point but I suppose because my husband and I are weeks away from our 35th wedding  anniversary we reminisce of all the good times and bad.  We try not to dwell on bad but sadly they exist.

We had a responsibility that I refer to as the best job of our lives.  Through the years we received many compliments on what appeared to family and friends as a good job.  My general response was” time will tell how good a job we are actually doing”.  Thinking back maybe we should have agreed versus questioning as many books state what we think is what we get.  Despite my enthusiastic personality deep down I am quite hard on myself so I hate to think that theory is correct but it sure has me living more positive just in case.

We got let go of the job we loved.  I cry remembering those first months after the final decision to part ways was told to us and how I wanted to die.  I recall days laying on a floor wondering how I could ever think about returning to living happily again.  So much for the good job!  After a while and a lot of sorting through emotions I feel grateful for I learned so much.

We smile at the memory of the picture perfect life we lived and realize now that we are a bit wiser how we took so much for granted.  We had odds and ends happen but we cannot think of one painful second.  We sat and spoke about how others had struggles but we seemed to dodge all the bullets.  We laughed with tears in our eyes saying how  we wish we could have had more bumps in the road back then versus being totally fired now.  We agreed the line pay now or pay later is true.  Perfect lives do not last forever.

In our hearts we realize that what we define as the worse pain really is not as bad as what others are going through.

I reminded him of the story last month of a dear social media friend I have been in contact with for years  who experienced the sudden death of her husband.  He felt ill one night; was rushed to the hospital and died days later.  This wonderful sweet women who comforted me on the days I was crawled in a ball now figures out her life without him.  My heart breaks for her every day.

I then reminded Kevin of our jolly happy neighbor around the corner.   I bumped into her a few weeks ago while walking the dog and she told me she had terminal cancer and would be having chemo for at least six months.  I have not seen her since and can feel the tears in my eyes every time I pass her door as I pray she is healing.

These are only two examples of the many people who wake up struggling every day and need to be reminded they are doing a good job.  Kevin and I agreed that if we had the ability to throw all of our troubles into a bucket with the hopes to switch them for a different set we would be grabbing ours back for sure.

There are many definitions of being let go that can make us feel devastated.  Whether it be discord with family members, loss of a job, a bad health report, a divorce or the sudden death of a loved one.  Please know when you open your eyes in the morning you are doing a good job.   Our good job days are when we are tested and you will pass.

For some reason I have been given the gift of laughter.  I do not like sadness and avoid it at every chance I can get.  I agree with a quote I read from Red Skelton this morning—-Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness.  He continues to say; laughter had always brought me out of unhappy situations and even in your darkest moment you can find something to laugh about if you try hard enough.

For now a door has been temporarily shut and we dream somewhere through the years it will reopen.  We both sure would love that and pray each day for it to be.  We also looked into each others eyes and agreed reliving it was wasting our days and we need to hear the applause as there is no guarantee we will celebrate a tomorrow.

For a long while I felt guilty having fun or feeling happiness as I felt it just was not right.  We want everyone reading this who may be in a dark place too you cannot take back what has already happened.  Emotions need to be recognized and dealt with but life is meant to continue.  Constantly ripping off the bandage to expose wounds only keep them from healing. Live your life.

Kevin hugged me and patted me on the back and smiled as he admired how I stay so hopeful.  I accept the words for we must motivate each other to continue on this journey.  I smile at the applause because if all the books about karma are correct I will be hearing more of it!

Certain holidays, songs and memories bring back melancholy feelings.  I end this piece praying  that good will come out of this in some way if not for us than for others who are going through a let go situation too.  We will never totally get over feeling sadness but we know that this is normal.  After all when you feel pain it is an indication that what was lost mattered.

We will soon start our 36th year of wonderful memories and as we embark on this new journey we send hugs, good wishes and much love to those who will always truly matter in our hearts.  We will always be grateful.  It was a good job, Old Child Of Mine.  We both agree; it was a Very Good Job!

Editor’s Note:  Visit AFL member Donna Ryan at her website:  She says, “I have always thrived on inspiration. I love reading it everywhere I can find it. I am 55 and it has been a journey with many twists and turns. I invite all 50+ women to join me in discussions on this second chapter. Our road ahead is fun and exciting because these truly are the best days of our lives.”

I thrive on inspiration; I read it every day and I try to live and share it through my actions. Stepping out of our comfort zone can be very frightening. I have learned that I will never grow if I don’t face fear! I encourage all women to join me on this sometimes weird and scary adventure. Let’s discuss all sorts of things from makeup colors, to recipes, books, funny jokes and everything in between. We are on this journey together so let’s gather around and share our stories, dreams, and goals as well as happy and sad times too. You name it; we can do it! We are fifty something and these are the best days of our lives. No matter what the circumstances you are living you are only a keystroke away from friends that care! So join the circle of the 50plusstickingtogether friendship chain. Let’s keep learning, growing and inspiring each other together. It’s Never Too Late!!! Visit AFL member Donna Ryan at her website:

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