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Comedy: Do You Have Stuff?

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This article is a tribute to the late George Carlin, a great comedian who had a wonderful routine on the same subject. I could never emulate George Carlin, however I would like to share some of my views on Stuff.

There are many Stuff collectors out there. Some are open and proud of their collections, but most are closet Stuff collectors that would like to keep their hobby private. One thing about Stuff collectors is that you must never use the word junk when referring to their Stuff because it would hurt their feelings.

I must admit that I am a Stuff collector, but only in a small way. When I have some new Stuff to add to my collection, I discard some old Stuff.

My neighbor Henry came home the other day with an expensive new car. I noticed he left his car sitting in his driveway all night. When I asked him why he didn’t put his new car in his garage, he looked at me
as if I was demented. (I realized I asked the wrong question.)

He said, I can’t, my Stuff is in there.

A few days later. Henry told me he was moving to a bigger house.

Why? I asked. There are only two of you living in 2,500 square feet with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. I knew I had just asked another dumb question.

Henry said, I need more room for my Stuff.

I realized that our economy was being driven by Stuff collectors buying bigger homes. Stuff collecting has become pandemic. A thousand years from now there will only be a few hundred people left in the world. The rest of the world will be full of STUFF. 

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