Simply Southern Cappy

Half-Lit

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall. ~Larry Wilde When it comes to Christmas trees, less is more, proclaimed our friend Bud. Convinced that he had found the secret to simplicity, sensibilities and holiday sanity, he initiated the SCTC: The Small Christmas Tree Comeback Initiative. ...Read More

Oh, For Names Sake

The Nobel Prize should be awarded to the person responsible for the name tag. While seated in a restaurant perusing the menu, a young woman approaches my table. "Hello! My name is Tammy and I’ll be your server today. What can I get you to drink?" I glance at her smiling face and then at her hands to determine if she paid attention t...Read More

Operation: Adopted Heroes

What Does It Take to Make a Hero? Sometimes it takes a village. As the tenth anniversary of 9/11 approaches, who among us will not be sadly reminded of that day and of the firefighters who fought valiantly and thereby earned the title of hero? Following 9/11, Senior Citizen Dee Matthews, a New Yorker and former DuBois, Pennsylvania resident, visite...Read More

Scout’s Honor

Honor: honesty and integrity in one’s beliefs and actions. ” BSA Pledge Lt. General E.G. Buck Shuler is Chairman of the Board of Trustees for the Mighty Eighth Museum in Savannah, Georgia, and he is my childhood friend. I am a captive audience as the General leads us on a tour, speaks of significant fighter planes, or points to a photo of a ...Read More

Sackcloth and Ashes

"To every thing there is a season, A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to love, and a time to hate; A time of war, and a time of peace." On the second September Monday morning of this year, we Americans will turn off our...Read More

A Lump in the Mashed Potatoes

There is nothing funny about breast cancer, but I am a humor writer and I spend my life trying not to take myself too seriously. My friends who have experienced breast cancer have told me how a smattering of humor has made even their worst days a little better. I hope you’ll read my story and know that it is my attempt to make you smile today...Read More

The Beat Goes On

I sort of slept through the provocative 60’s because I was busy having babies and pretending to be Donna Reed. Chasing after two rambunctious boys left me way too beat to focus on anything more serious than Pablum. For all I knew, the Beat Generation was a tired group of wives and mothers just like me. Some years later, far removed from the s...Read More

The First Thanksgiving: A Spoof

If preparing for Thanksgiving has left you wondering why you bothered, blame it on Myles Standish, Captain of the Mayflower, aka the man who created holiday stress. In August, he invited the Indians to a Labor Day party, got them roaring drunk so he could find out where wild turkeys hung out. Promising even more firewater, he conned them into showi...Read More

The Ghost of Julia, Past & Present

I think every woman should have a blowtorch. • Julia Child My son gave me a new, brushed stainless steel toaster for Christmas. No doubt he was tired of hearing me whine about the cheap small appliances I buy at Big Lots. So he paid handsomely for a good one. It is so good in fact, that it reminds me of the church I go to when I’m not sleepi...Read More

The Fifteen-Minute Window

Now learn a parable of the fig tree; when his branch is yet tender, and putteth forth leaves, ye know that summer is nigh. ”Matthew 24:32. The fig race, normally begun in mid-June, is late. Every year at this time it’s man against nature, them or us. Fig lovers have a fifteen-minute window of opportunity before an army of black birds dive-bo...Read More

Heart Tickles

A giggle is like tickling the heart. Bud eyed the cute young girl across the room. She was serving punch and chatting with guests. Occasionally, she giggled, and he loved it. She must be Dick’s date, he thought. His brother always snagged good looking girls. Myra noticed the young man checking her out. Each time she looked in his direction, ...Read More

O Sole Mia!

"Did you say Opera? You gotta be kidding." My friend Judy wiped away tears of laughter. "Opera," she repeated. Then she doubled over in an all-out howl. "Why are you laughing? You think because Babe is an ex-jock, he doesn’t appreciate music?" When she finally got control of herself, she took a deep breath, looke...Read More

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