Gary Chalk
‘Twas the Night Before Christmas….
‘Twas the night before Christmas, When all through the house, Not a creature was stirring ….Except Dad– who Mom and the kids call ‘the louse.’ The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there … with the fuchsia red Victoria Secret pyjamas Dad ordered for his wife! The children were nestled all ...Read More
“Shop-and-Ship!” Ho Ho, Say THAT 5 Times Fast!
Beware. Here’s something that will make your turtle doves dump all over your holidays… It’s less than TWO WEEKS until Christmas!! Hey, get a-hold of yourself: Relax. Take a deep breath. Text ‘OMG’ to your ‘followers.’ If you are a true dyed-in-the-wool shopper you are already right out of friggin’ con...Read More
Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving, Eh?
Thanksgiving Day in Canada. It is a day many will give thanks… and prey that Donald Trump loses. Before I dribble turkey giblet gravy down my pants, I will attempt to explain why Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving in October, whereas in the United States they wait until late-November. The short answer is that Americans are way too preoccupied i...Read More
Reading Television by Gary Chalk
You know when we do most of our reading these days? When we watch television! I’m not talking about picking up a book while you sit in front of the television. Work with me… In the good old days families would gather in the living room to watch television. The remote control hadn’t been invented so fathers had to put down their Po...Read More
Traveling woes and missing clothes
I am sooo embarrassed— even more than Donald Trumps campaign manager. And that’s bad! Here’s why…. Jan and I were invited to our friends cottage recently. But I’m not sure we will be invited back– well at least me.It was a quick one night visit. “Gary can you pack your clothes?” So I tossed a change of clothes in a L.L. Bean Weekender bag. Along wi...Read More
What Happens at the Cottage – STAYS at the Cottage! by Gary Chalk
I am sooo embarrassed— even more than Donald Trumps campaign manager. And that’s bad! Here’s why…. Jan and I were invited to our friends cottage recently. But I’m not sure we will be invited back– well at least me. It was a quick one night visit. “Gary can you pack your clothes?” So I tossed a change ...Read More
Conventions Create Comatose Condition! by Gary Chalk
My body is numb. I’m drooling. I spent last week horizontal on the sofa: watching the republican national convention on cable television. I must have been dreaming… “I’m Wolf Blitzer and I’ve got ‘BREAKING NEWS.’ “I’m NOT in the Situation Room. I’m in the Men’s Room. This convention ...Read More
Travellers Worst Woes: Luggage Zippers! by Gary Chalk
Full disclosure: I am ‘Zipper Challenged.’I was diagnosed last week while on an Alaskan cruise. Early symptoms of Zipper Challenge are evident from the bedroom when packing. Husbands scream, “Dear, do we need this much clothing?” On the ship more symptoms appear: fits of anger when attempting to open multiple luggage zippers...Read More
It Sucks To Be Cleveland – by Gary Chalk
I’ve got good news; and bad news. The good news: Cleveland won the NBA championship last month. The bad news: Cleveland hosts the republican national convention starting tonight. Some Cleveland residents are protesting, saying, “What did we screw up to earn this?” With the national media converging on Cleveland, locals are putting...Read More