Dear “Oh Carol:”

I’m a caregiver.  This is how I make my living.  I’m late 60’s.  I was married, had one son, then we divorced.  My former husband died about 5 years ago.  The divorce left me financially devastated and I work under the table.  But I do okay because I’m good at what I do. I have a nice circle of women friends – but occasionally I’d like some male companionship.  But I’m not going to meet any eligible people doing this.  It’s just not the kind of job where you meet fun, interesting people.  And, in addition, most potential dates aren’t interested in learning all the finer details of adult diaper changing routines.  I’m not at all very good with computers and frankly, I have genuine fear about being scammed or taken advantage of.  My women friends are very protective.  Anyway – I would like to figure out how to go about meeting people.  Caregiver Needing Some TLC

AFL’s OH CAROL Answers……

AFL’s “Oh Carol,” Carol Ziegler

Dear Caregiver,

Well it certainly seems as if you’ve thrown all the obstacles in your path and now you want to know how to navigate around them. It’s like saying you want to lose weight but you’re only willing to eat carbs and desserts and you’re afraid to move a muscle. Something has to shift in order to move forward regardless of your goals.

You are right when you say that most me are not interested in the finer details of adult diaper changing – who is? I am sure you and your colleagues can have some interesting conversations comparing notes but outside of that small circle, I can’t imagine anyone wanting to have THAT discussion! So first thing you need to do is get that out of your conversations. What other interests do you have? what interests can you cultivate?

I understand that money is an issue so what about library book clubs? How about checking out your local Y, or place of worship for weekly meetings of After 50 singles. Quite often they are having discussions and not a singles meat market. Do you like movies? Is there an artsy cinema (or any theater) near you? The earlier showings are often attended by those your age. Being that you are somewhat in the medical field, see if there are any free or low-cost classes at a local medical facility where you can meet like minded people. How about your local school district? Do they offer Adult Ed classes? or does your local library?

I understand that you don’t want to use the computer but you are missing out on a lot. Forget online dating, check out meetup.com. I recommend this site often (wish I got a kick back lol) because it offers you the opportunity to seek out hobbies, interests, like-minded groups all within your local area. You can join these groups for free and even chat online and make a friend or two before attending any of their meetups. (usually the actual meetups have small, affordable attendance fees like $10)

You do have to at least stick a toe outside of your comfort zone if you want to make any changes. In the immortal words of the late David Bowie “Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the strange)” Make THAT your new mantra!

Yours For LOVE!
Carol