I am struggling in my marriage. My wife takes me for granted. I get her coffee every morning, help with the housework and try to be a good husband. She is miserable all the time. She says she is not "in love with me anymore." What can I do?
D.H., Boonville, Ind.
Your wife may be struggling with something physical or mental.
Has she had a good physical examination lately? Encourage your wife to see her doctor.
Many women go through serious hormonal changes in mid-life which often begins at an earlier age than most might suspect. Many physical and emotional changes occur during menopause that can cause normally rational women to make irrational decisions. Sometimes this is from lack of sleep because sleeping patterns are often disturbed during this time.
If your situation is not medical, then you may need to work on better communication.
Find out exactly what your wife expects from your marriage relationship. Many people have very unrealistic expectations. We grow up expecting a prince or princess to meet all our needs, which only happens in fairy tales. Real life and relationships require hard work, sacrifice and compromise.
You should continue to be a loving, supportive husband.
Ask her on dates and court her like you did before you were married. If possible, go back to some of the places where you dated. Talk about how you met and share how you felt about each other. Those happy memories can help you rebuild a better relationship. Have fun together. Plan something special. You cannot change her feelings, but you can help her rediscover the feelings she had while you were dating. Continue to build your friendship with her.
I encourage you to pursue marriage enrichment workshops and counseling. Do not give up on your marriage, because it is worth fighting for. It may take some time and energy.
Love is more than a feeling. It is a decision. Your loving actions will rebuild your marriage.
(c) 2010 Evansville Courier & Press. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All rights Reserved.