Thinking about writing your dating profile? I could tell you stories ad infinitum about crazy things I’ve seen on profiles and spelling errors that make this writer’s eyeballs spin. I can’t stress enough the importance of getting it right. This is the very first impression someone will have of you. Don’t mess it up!
♫ gotta be cool, relax, get hip ♫
Short & Sweet: We want to share everything about ourselves to ensure attracting the right person but often our profile ends up more like a dissertation. People look at a lengthy profile and their eyes glaze over. Keep it succinct. State your marital status as in Single (never married), Divorced, Separated, or Widowed. This is helpful in case someone prefers one status over another. Mention your top favorite activities, foods, bands, books or whatever stands out about you. If something is VERY important such as you MUST have a partner that enjoys dancing, say so but I warn you, you could be eliminating some very wonderful matches. Try to convey a bit of your personality. Conversely, I’ve also seen profiles that are way TOO short – i.e. “Like music, dining out, want to meet someone, send me a message.” That tells us nothing other than you are just like a bazillion other people.
Spell Check! OMG I can’t tell you what a pet peeve this is for me. If you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” “there, they’re, or their” then PLEASE ask someone who does to review your profile. Another common error I’ve come across on men’s profiles is not knowing a “woman” from “women”! Example: “I’m looking for a good “women” unfortunately appears often! Is it ONE woman you’re looking for or a harem?
- Photos! Have recent photos! It is not unusual for people to post pix from 10 -20 years ago and then when you actually meet in person – you can’t help but be disappointed. NONE of us look like we did 20 years ago. You want to be liked for who you are today. In addition, limit pix of your pets, kids, grandkids, cars, trucks, and motorcycles to just one. No one is looking to date your pets, your family or your vehicles! Women, don’t lay on a bed showing cleavage! Men, don’t lay on a bed shirtless with a ‘come hither’ look! No sex shots unless that is what you are seeking.
- Truth in Advertising: Be honest. If you’re recently separated, don’t state divorced. Do you smoke but answered non-smoker? Do you drink but answered that you don’t? This can work against you both ways. For example; a smoker or someone who likes a cocktail now and then might skip over your profile because you state that you don’t indulge. Another recently separated (or widowed) person could find comfort in knowing you are on a similar time line. I have met people who wrote that they didn’t smoke only to smell it on them the moment they arrived. AGE!! BE HONEST! People lower their age for search purposes. That choice is yours but state it immediately in your profile. If someone is shallow enough to seek someone much younger than their age, they are not the one you want anyway. Truth is, don’t lie!
- Who Are You Looking For: Spend some time stating some of what’s important to you in a mate. What are your Deal Makers? For example, are you a religious person and find that attractive in someone? Are you an atheist and would not want to date someone who has deep religious convictions? Is he/she funny? Family oriented? A loner? Beach? Mountains? High energy? Mellow? Again, be succinct but let your personality shine through. Does it matter who they voted for? If so, say so. What are your REAL deal-breakers? Things like a REAL allergy to cats (not an aversion), then say so. PLEASE make sure to state it up front. I have a cat and had wasted too much time reading profiles that sounded terrific only to get to the last line when they finally stated they are allergic.
Now, sit down, start typing, take some new photos, and go for it!
