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5 “TO-DO’s” for That First Date – and Other Dates, Too!

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5 “TO-DO’s” for That First Date – and Other Dates, Too!

I hate to tell you the number of times men have shown up on my first dates wearing old sneakers,

AFL’s “Oh Carol,” Carol Ziegler

tattered jeans, a stain on their shirt, and looking like they just got up from a nap. While I spent hours planning what I was going to wear, took longer than usual with my hair and make-up and then THAT shows up! It made me feel like I was an afterthought. Those are hours I will never get back!

Some people tend to let things go when they are in a long term relationship. Now that you are back in the dating scene, it’s time to take an objective look at yourself.

Tip #1 GROOMING: for women and men: Smile in the mirror. When was the last time you had your teeth cleaned professionally? What color are your teeth? Are they also gunky? How is your breath? I once had a date whose breath was so offensive I ordered red wine because I knew it would come in a goblet and I could bury my nose in it. Don’t be that person! Always pop a breath mint in your mouth before greeting your date.

For women: Get a new do (or a blowout) Freshen your color. If you like your greys, have a glaze or some shine added.

For men:  Get a haircut and a shave. *VERY important* to groom those ear, eyebrow, and nose hairs! It’s an unfair phenomena but when men lose their head hair it seems to strengthen their eyebrows. It’s very disturbing trying to engage with a man whose eyebrow antennae are flapping in the breeze!  I’ve often wondered if men have mirrors!

♫ She asks me why, I’m just a hairy guy
I’m hairy noon and night, hair that’s a fright
I’m hairy high and low, don’t ask me why, Don’t know ♫

                                                                                                       NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT!


Tip #2 – For men and women: FRAGRANCE:  Definitely wear some but DON’T overdo it. You don’t want to reek so bad that squiggles of fumes rise off your body. Get an age appropriate scent that is current. Aramis and Youth Dew smell like you’re dating your parents. Hard to feel romantic with a man who smells like dear ol’ Dad. Don’t know what’s appropriate? Ask in a department store or google it.

SHOWER! Seems obvious but trust me, it’s not! I’ve had dates that have come straight from the gym or a job that requires physical labor or being outdoors all day.  Hint: When applying your deodorant, use a light or unscented one.  

                                                                                                                        NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT!

Tip #3 –For the women: MAKE-UP:
 I can’t tell you how many women of a certain age I’ve seen with heavy lashes, too much brow color, and bleeding lip liner. At our age less is better. A nice dewy foundation, a neutral eye shadow, good mascara, and a touch of color on the lips. If you are unsure, go to a department store and ask. If you are not a make-up kind of gal, at least get your brows groomed (if you use pencil make sure they are even and don’t make you look shocked!), use a B&B moisturizer, and a touch of color lipstick or gloss. Hint) check your teeth for lipstick!                                                                                                                                         NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT!


Tip #4 –for men and women: MONEY: If you’re the one paying, call ahead and see if the place
you are going to takes credit cards. Some still do not so be prepared with cash. Make sure your credit/debit card has sufficient funds so you don’t get embarrassed by getting declined. If you are not the one paying, be smart and make sure you have enough to cover costs in case your date did not read or heed my advice.                                                                                                                                                                 NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT!


Tip #5for men and women: Your car: Whether you’re driving or meeting in separate cars (highly recommended for the first few dates to take your own car) make sure you clean out your vehicle. When you walk your date to their car (or get walked to yours) and the interior light shines upon heaps of junk, the imaginary lightbulb in your date’s head will go off too! It also wouldn’t hurt to schpritz a little Febreeze in there before you go out.

                                                                                                         NOT THE LOOK YOU WANT!


Our Love ‘n Life Pro, Carol, is an After Fiftier who spent almost 10 years as a professional matchmaker. She also experienced separation and divorce around the time she was turning the big “5 – 0.” With her divorce finalized, and her experiences as a professional matchmaker serving as a backdrop, she entered into the world of online dating, as the industry was just gaining a foothold. “It was probably easier for me to jump into online dating than for many others. I also find that my background makes it easy for me to talk with the men I meet online.” She has experienced many, if not most, “relationship” issues both first-hand and as a matchmaker. “Helping people” helps her to recharge her psychic battery – and we’re confident that she can help you!

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