Relationships - Advice to love! / Sex & Romance

New At This!

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Dear “Oh Carol,”

I am about 7 months away from a divorce. We were together for 3 yrs. I realized it was a mistake after the first year…when she drained my bank account…I guess because I am so loving and kind. I didn’t see it coming. so now I am at the age of 63, alone again. I do own my own home and my new truck is paid for. now what…I have three cats and direct tv….been out of work all year….but living on my late wife..the one before this last one…SS checks. I do feel lonely. I don’t smoke, do drugs, but I do like a beer and or a glass of wine once in a while. I am a very spiritual person. I have been praying for a friend. the next time I wont propose in 8 weeks…lol…Iguess the laughs on me now. Not sure what to say in here….I am new at thisAFL’s

AFLs OH CAROL ANSWERS

AFL's "Oh Carol," Carol Ziegler

AFL’s “Oh Carol,” Carol Ziegler

Dear New At This,
I read your letter and my first response was bewilderment. I don’t understand how a woman could do such a thing as drain a man’s bank account. I say this first hand as I’ve had the opportunity to date some very wealthy men and for one reason or another it didn’t work out. One was obnoxious, two were the worst kissers I’ve ever encountered, and one was so boring (he was the wealthiest and we went on several dates – I really tried, lol) that I learned that money can’t buy you a personality nor could it buy me love. “I don’t care too much for money,
For money can’t buy me love”

So, how does a woman date and eventually marry for the money? How does she get past kissing and having sex with a man that she isn’t in to? I don’t get it. How can a man be so clueless as to be put in such a position and give his money away? I’d really like to understand!

Well, it happened to you and now you’re left to pick up the pieces and move on. How? Well, I can tell you that praying for a friend only works in storybooks. You need to be way more pro-active than that.

You sound like a decent man who deserves love. But sitting home and praying isn’t going to bring it to you. You need to get out! Freshen yourself up. Start by going for a shave and a haircut and getting yourself a few new shirts, sweaters, jeans, slacks. You don’t have to spend a lot – check out Old Navy, decent prices and basic “on trend” clothing for all ages. Once you look better, you’ll feel better. Oh, also get a new cologne. A light fragrance and one that is age appropriate. Don’t go with a cologne that you wore 40 years ago like Aramis or Drakkar, it will remind your dates of their Dads. Nothing says sexy like smelling like someone’s Dad! (NOT!) Go to a department store and ask someone in the men’s cologne department for help. Or google and shop online. Sprucing up your wardrobe and your scent will get you ready to date. Then go to any number of online dating sites i.e. Plenty of Fish, Match, Our Time and browse around, You will need to create a profile to browse but that part is free.
Do NOT state that you own your own home and truck in your profile. (You don’t want another gold digger!) Focus on WHO you are and not on what you have. Do NOT state that you’ve been “out of work all year” unless you are retired, in which case, DO state that you are retired. Let people know that you are looking to meet someone special. Church, family, friends. Check out Facebook if you haven’t already. Who knows, you may find an old friend who is also looking to meet someone special!

You sound like a decent man. Focus on your positive personality assets and keep your eyes wide open.
Say you don’t need no diamond ring
And I’ll be satisfied
Tell me that you want those kind of things
That money just can’t buy”

Give it time. Don’t throw in the towel. You can find love again, Write back and let me know how you’re doing.

Yours for Love!

Carol

 

Do you have a question for Carol?

Our Love ‘n Life Pro, Carol, is an After Fiftier who spent almost 10 years as a professional matchmaker. She also experienced separation and divorce around the time she was turning the big “5 – 0.” With her divorce finalized, and her experiences as a professional matchmaker serving as a backdrop, she entered into the world of online dating, as the industry was just gaining a foothold. “It was probably easier for me to jump into online dating than for many others. I also find that my background makes it easy for me to talk with the men I meet online.” She has experienced many, if not most, “relationship” issues both first-hand and as a matchmaker. “Helping people” helps her to recharge her psychic battery – and we’re confident that she can help you!

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