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12 tips to stay married for over 30 years

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12 tips to stay married for over 30 years

12 tips to stay married for over 30 years

If you want to know about marriage, ask someone with a lifetime of experience. Here we share the top tips from our community and how they stay happily married.

Marriage comes first.  If you push your spouse down on your list of priorities, even your children will believe that marriage isn’t all that important. On the flip side, if they see you honoring your spouse with that number one spot, they will feel a love and security that can come in no other way.

Marry someone you admire: While this one may seem obvious it is not, and it will set a good baseline for times when you get on each other’s nerves.

Keep dating your spouse. Establish a weekly “date night” with your spouse and treat this time as sacred. Your dates don’t have to be fancy, but you do need to work to keep them fresh.

Take care of yourself. Feeling and looking good is important not just for your health but also for your marriage. Eat right, exercise and get some sleep so you can be around for the next 30 years. Physical attraction is important even after 30 years.

Have sex regularly. It’s pretty easy to get into a slump in your sex life when you’re married. Things just get busy and by the end of the day, couples are just too tired for it. Make sex priority. Frequent sexual encounters with your couple will strengthen your emotional and physical attraction.

Agree to a budget, stick to it and review it frequently.  It is key that both spouses have input in the budgeting process. This is really a critical component of any budget that is actually going to work, which means that it is respected and followed by the entire family. There must be input from both husband and wife that the final budget is a spending plan that they agree to stick to.

Travel together. Traveling could be a revealing way to discover strengths and weaknesses and find out how to complement each on these roles as they keep on uncovering paths and destinations. Plus it can be a lot of fun.

Cultivate separate hobbies. It is important to be interested in things you can talk about other than work or the kids.

It’s not always about you. We make many of our decisions based on our own needs and desires. Because someone’s decision hurts you, it doesn’t mean that was their intention — or that you were even on their radar.

Forgiveness is alway the better choice. Wondering if you can or want to forgive someone is, in its own way, a serendipitous opportunity. If you’re entertaining it, there’s probably some really good reasons why. Go ahead. Forgive when you can.

Communicate gracefully. Whatever you say, say it with love. The more difficult something is to hear, the more gently and tenderly it must be said. Honesty without gentleness is brutal. Make sure that what you have to say needs to be said.

Put your phone down and make eye contact. In this day and age, people are slowly losing their interpersonal skills as they replace it with their phones. A Healthy relationship requires that you put the phone down when you want to have a real conversation.

Step outside your comfort zone. Try something different for a change. Instead of watching TV, go camping, or paint a room together because that’s when you get to know the real person.

Do you have a question for Carol?

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