10. Wearing thongs & Speedos.
After 50 the ravages of time and gravity have worked their magic on men. The speedo brings to light the ground-zero zones of this. Men over 50 should never wear speedos unless it is for an athletic competition.
9. Say things like “fo’shizzle,” or “whatever”.
8. Send emails work emails with emoticons
Sending an email that reads, “Sorry your investment went belly up this quarter, :(…” does not. Take a hint old man, no one is going to give you a hard time for actually acting your age.
7. Attempt to wear leather pants.
Yes, we know these are hard to get out, but unless you are Mick Jagger you must avoid these.
6. Eat too much white chocolate.
Dark chocolate has beneficial antioxidants which can help reduce inflammation and, in the process, your risk for heart disease and other problems. But white chocolate is mostly vegetable fat and added sugar. For instance, one oz of white chocolate can have 153 calories — with roughly half of those calories coming from fat — and contain 17 grams (g) of sugar and 2 g of protein.
5. Ponytails (unless you are Willie Nelson).
Yes fellas…..We know you’re bald under there, You’re not fooling anyone.
4. Don’t tell younger women that you know famous people.
Unless you are a famous person yourself, they won’t believe you.
3. Don’t pretend to be younger than you are.
Embrace your age and wisdom. Plus, they will look at the backs of your hands.
2. Avoid Boxing.
When pro boxer Thomas Hearns announced at age 50 that he was looking for another bout, even his own trainer would not support the move.
1. Do not wear Just about Johnny Depp is wearing nowadays.
Here are a 10 more from bestselling author Jacquelyn Mitchard, the best-selling author of 20 books:
Jell-O shots and doing Karaoke after midnight (especially if you had a few Jell-O shot
Mud wrestling (intentional).
Drinking champagne from your son’s girlfriend’s shoe.
Drinking champagne from your daughter’s boyfriend’s shoe.
Drinking champagne from your own shoe.
Xtreme bingo cruises.
Throwing a wet T-shirt contest. Throwing a wet nightshirt contest.
Explaining your personal role in the fact that your kids “never really got into any of that stuff …”
Explaining your personal role in the fact that your kids got into an Ivy League college.
Explaining your personal role in starting the rumor that Paul was dead.