This is an update to a story I posted last year. My husband, Scott, was diagnosed with prostate cancer on May 4, 2011 and had a laparoscopic radical prostatectomy on August 16, 2011. While I was relieved that the procedure had been able to be done robotically, when the surgeon mentioned that some questionable cells remained - probably, he said, attributable to remains from the extracted gland itself - I began to worry right away.

On October 3, the day my 83-year-old mother moved to New Hampshire to live down the street from me - the lab called to say Scott's PSA test needed to be redone. We had a temporary reprieve when the subsequent test indicated Scott's PSA level was, slowly, declining. This was a false hope. A subsequent blood test confirmed that Scott still had cancer.

Scott's surgeon referred him to Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston. His medical oncologist there sent him to Dr. Paul Nguyen, boy wonder radiation oncologist. He said Scott would need to get radiation treatment in Boston 5 days a week for the next ten weeks. This course of treatment began in March and ended in May.

Being separated from his beloved dogs and his sons was terribly difficult for Scott. Thankfully he was able to come home to New Hampshire every weekend.

I fell off the sobriety wagon when I heard that Scott still had cancer after the surgery, and when I learned that he would never be able to have sex again.Somehow I had to make this outcome my fault - as if I could control it somehow...sad, huh. Now, ironically, Scott's cancer is in remission, but our marriage is definitely terminal. Mea culpa.

I do thank the wonderful doctors at Dana Farber and Brigham & Women's Hospital, the radiologic technicians who treated Scott so meticulously and with such love. More thanks to the wonderful staff and patients at AstraZeneca Hope Lodge.

Hey, I was the princess who pitched a fit when Mom bought me the Barbie with a brown bouffant instead of the sleek blonde waves I fantasized about. Why would I respond any better to this turn of events? I used to go to the "Man to Man" Prostate Cancer support groups held monthly in Concord, but one look at the saintly wives - Mother Theresa? Florence Nightingale? - to whom I just could not aspire, and I've decided to forgo these meetings in the future. Not that I'd be invited. Scott has made his disgust for me quite clear and I don't want to hit the replay button.
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Editor's Note:  You can read Anne's original story about her husband's prostate cancer here.

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jeffreydav You are certainly not alone! But at least you didn't walk out and clean out the bank account like my wife did. Tell me; if you had had breast cancer and a double mastectomy do you think he would have been as cruel?

Jul 8, 2012, 8:34 PM EDT

jeffreydav You are certainly not alone! But at least you didn't walk out and clean out the bank account like my wife did. Tell me; if you had had breast cancer and a double mastectomy do you think he would have been as cruel?

Jul 8, 2012, 8:34 PM EDT

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