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About a week ago my buddy Wil called to let me know his Android phone device had developed a sense of humor.

Wil was writing a sweet love text to his girlfriend. The text said, "Do you know that you're all that I want?" It was the sort of sweet, private message that love-struck sweethearts whisper to each other. Wil hit "send," no doubt anticipating the warm feelings his beloved would have when she read the heartfelt sentiment he had imparted.

The Android promptly let Wil know: "Message sent to Jeff."

While I'm sure Wil uttered words that could refer less to love than an act of procreation, our mutual buddy Jeff was at work wondering why his and Wil's new friendship had moved so suddenly from a mutual appreciation of competitive sports to something more intimate.

Jeff gingerly texted back: "How 'bout them Bears?"

The lesson here: Do not trust our technological helpers. My own phone, which is nowhere near as smart or as stylish as an Android, iPhone or Blackberry, occasionally hops a space and calls or texts someone I didn't mean to, but the best thing it does is fill in words I MIGHT be anticipating writing in text messages. Let it be known that I have two good friends to whom I exchange extremely foul insults with. Each time I ask my daughter to return a text while I am driving, I am afraid the phone will helpfully finish innocent words starting with certain letters with something less delicate that I have jokingly called one of my buddies.

There are entire websites devoted to chronicling the mishaps of the iPhone's autocorrect function. The site www.damnyouautocorrect. com is a hall of shame for missent missives:

"Your mom and I are going to divorce next month."

"What?? Why! Call me, please?" "I wrote Disney and this phone changed it. We are going to Disney."

"Dude, I got a sweet tattoo of herpes."

"huhhhhhh????"

"(expletive) Hercules. On my back. I do not have herpes."

"Thanks for clearing that up."

"What r u doin tonite? Let's hang."

"can't. showering with my sister then dan's party."

"Ew! showering with ur sister?

Um ok?"

"(expletive) I meant shopping.

(expletive) phone!"

Elsewhere the iPhone's autocorrect function helpfully anticipated "left ovary spaghetti" for "leftover spaghetti" and "chicken titillating soup" for "chicken tortilla soup."

One guy recounted a friend's troubles which had ended with said friend driving off with his mom's Camaro. The text, though, was autocorrected to "his mom's corpse."

Thankfully, it was clarified before homicide was notified.

It is comforting to know that the iPhone's autocorrect function is particularly fond of the proper terminology for anatomical parts, but troubling that it seems almost obsessed with them. iPhone users have confessed to some particularly amazing things since the function was introduced. Maybe it's even given them ideas of things to try later!

Electronics continue to educate us all.

(c) 2011 News Sentinel. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All rights Reserved. 

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