• What are
  FAVORITES?
  Bookmark any page of our site conveniently in this one area.
  
  Sign In or Register so you can take advantage of all of the features of After Fifty Living

We’ve all done it. We’re smack in the middle of a ho-hum, so-so, not going anywhere relationship. But, we don’t break up.  We stay. We go out for linguini and clams every Friday night, have a sleepover every Saturday night, and continue on as though we might actually want to be with this person on a permanent basis. Except, of course, we don’t. And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with him (or her), except that he’s just not “The One.”

Then, we start to think of our alternatives. What will happen if we break it off? Staying home on Saturday nights for the rest of our lives? Getting stuck at the singles table at every wedding for the rest of the decade? A lonely, desperate life of Wheel of Fortune, solitary, TV dinners and rescued pets?  So we stay. After all, it’s not really that bad, right? Sure he doesn’t make your toes tingle when you kiss. Sure, she’s addicted to makeover television. Sure, his friends are well, obnoxious.

But here’s what happens when you stay in a relationship you’re not meant to be in: Every Saturday night you’re spending with Mr. Right Now, is a Saturday night you’re missing with Mr. Right.  Think about it. While you’re yawning through yet another night of blah-blah togetherness, your perfect match could be circling the block.

Why do we stay with the incumbent? Because not-exactly-perfect is a lot less scary than whatever surprise is behind door number three. Sometimes we worry that if we dump the person we’re with, no one better will ever come along, and then we’ll lose the best thing that has ever happened to us in search of the ever-elusive toe-curler that may not even exist.

Most of us believe in our hearts that there is at least one perfect match for us. I am no exception: I met my perfect match the week after a three-year bland-as-white-toast relationship finally dragged itself to an end.

If you’re looking for something amazing to come into your life, you have to make room for it. In other words, if you stuff yourself with macaroni and cheese all day, you won’t have any room to spare for lobster. Or triple-decker macadamia white chocolate cheesecake.  And, in all fairness, your King of Monotony may be somebody else’s Prince Charming. All it takes is one brave step, one chance taken to snag the guy or girl of your dreams.

Just step away from the macaroni, and head out the door.

TV Dating Expert Lisa Daily is the bestselling author of two dating books: Stop Getting Dumped! How to Date Like a Grownup, and Fifteen Minutes of Shame (a novel) and is seen everywhere from Entertainment Tonight to the HITCH movie DVD.  

Get Lisa's FREE newsletter with dating advice and tips at http://lisadaily.com/datingexperttv

(C) Copyright 2002-2009 by Lisa Daily. All Rights Reserved.

Leave a Comment -

Guidelines: We welcome your thoughts, but for the sake of all visitors to AfterFiftyLiving.com, please refrain from the use of obscenities, personal attacks or slurs. All comments are subject to our terms of use and may be removed. Repeat offenders may lose commenting privileges.