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My daughter has two children and is divorced. I have heard that children are at greater risk of abuse if they are raised by stepparents. Is this true? (Anonymous)

There is a great deal of research on this very topic. According to a study done in Missouri in 2005 and published in the American Academy of Pediatrics, "Children living in households with unrelated adults are nearly 50 times as likely to die of inflicted injuries as children living with two biological parents."

The University of New Hampshire's Crimes against Children Research Center concluded, "Children living in stepfamilies or with single parents are at higher risk of physical or sexual assault than children living with two biological or adoptive parents."

Robin Wilson, a professor at Washington and Lee University, found that "Girls whose parents divorce are at significantly higher risk of sexual assault, whether they live with their mother or their father."

Every family will be different. Some single mothers bring men into their lives who lovingly help raise children when the biological father is gone for good. However, there is much evidence that cohabitation and remarriages put children at risk. Brad Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia, writes, "Cohabitation has become quite common and most people think, `What's the harm?' The harm is we're increasing a pattern of relationships that's no good for children. This is the dark underbelly of cohabitation."

Eiliana Gil, Clinical Director for the National Abuse-Prevention Group Childhelp, states, "I've seen many cases of physical and sexual abuse that come up with boyfriends, stepparents. It comes down to the fact they don't have a relationship established with these kids. Their primary interest is really the adult partner, and they may find themselves more irritated when there's a problem with the children."

Those studies are based on facts and children suffering. It will be very important for your daughter to take her time getting to know any future partner. Her children will need time to get to know him as well. You will need to be honest with your daughter if you see any behavior in a boyfriend of hers that causes you to be concerned about the safety of your grandchildren. If the grandchildren would be in jeopardy, their mother would too.

There is definitely a risk in a nonbiological parent raising a child. There also can be tremendous support from a loving stepparent. The key is to take time to build a relationship, so everyone in the family can get to know the new person coming into the family. Good marriage preparation programs will help potential couples to discuss all these aspects of remarriage.

(c) 2010 Evansville Courier & Press. Provided by ProQuest LLC. All rights Reserved.

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