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Being alone after a break up is a challenge, especially at holiday time. Divorce or separation after a long relationship is the number two top life stressor following right behind being widowed. A severe loss can plunge you into depression and health problems. So do not let yourself go for several months without taking steps to recover. A UCLA study showed that being rejected activates one of the same areas of the brain as physical pain! The more ignored the people felt, the more activity they had in the anterior cingulate, which also registers physical distress. In other words, your pain is physiological. But research has also shown how you can recover from loss more quickly. Here are five tips that have helped many people turn this painful time into a whole new rebirth for themselves!

Tip 1. Spend Time with Close Friends

The same UCLA researchers found that spending time and sharing with close friends and offset the pain by causing the brain to release natural opioids, which are like the painkillers found in opium.

Tip 2. Use Anger As Fuel To Better Yourself

If you are feeling angry, channel it into kick boxing, lifting weights or cardio. Exercise lifts your mood and youths your body. You will de-stress, find more peace and sleep better! Give yourself a makeover. Initially thinking about how sorry your ex will be when he or she sees how fantastic you have become can be fuel for your rebirth. Make yourself more attractive and better inside and out.

Tip 3. Have A 'New You' Party

Invite your friends to come over for a 'New You' party where they help give you a makeover. Let them go through your clothes and accessories, getting rid of unflattering stuff and putting together some hot looks for the new you. Ask them for referrals to great hair salons or clothing shops. Find a look that makes you feel great. You can also have a big reveal party for yourself.

Tip 4. Get Out There and Date Off- & Online

Start as soon as possible, even if you don't feel like it. The sooner you do, the sooner you'll move on. At this moment your chances of meeting the love of your life could be better than ever! The average marriage now lasts under seven years and this means new singles are coming on the scene all the time. Around sixteen million people are now using online dating. You don't need to worry about getting into a rebound relationship: new research shows that people marrying on the rebound are no more likely to fail than those who wait. Not to worry if you are older: The American Association of Retired Persons found in a recent survey that 70 percent of single baby boomers are actively dating.

Tip 5. Meditation and Relaxation

Johns Hopkins researchers recommend practicing relaxation techniques to get rid of heartache. These include meditation, deep breathing or journaling out your feelings. Practice any or all of these techniques and you will bounce back from loss more rapidly.

You can learn much more about the latest research on and techniques for recovering from heartache in my new book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

About the Author:  Dr. Diana Kirschner.  Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner, appeared on Oprah and is a frequent guest on the Today Show. For 25+ years she has helped thousands of single women find love. Her acclaimed new book is Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love. For her etips, blog, dating articles, daily affirmations & discussion forum visit http://www.lovein90days.com   Source:  http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/coping-with-breakups-641229.html 

dontgoover55 I was married for 30 years and when I married in the 70's the woman moved to where ever the husband wanted to move to because he was the one who was working,ect.That was my first mistake. My second mistake was staying with him after the very first time he hit me,I lost my hearing for 2 days at that time. I have lived and still live in the same town he is from.My grown children all have moved to different cities,and states. They don't say it but I know they want me to stay right where I'am,where they were brought home from the hospital when they were born. I hate it here. Over the many years of not being able to go home to where my friends where have taken a toll on our friendships even though I have friends here,they are not from my home town or my home state. During our divorce,he had family to turn to,I did not. He had places to hide the money,mail,things to hide,I did not. I had no one to turn to that was not busy with family things unlike he had sisters and brothers within 30 minutes of each other that he could go eat dinner with,stay the night and still go to work. I ended up homeless at one point because I had no job and couldn't work because of the injuries I had suffered during the years of our marrage,that he had a large part in doing. My grown children suffered also when they were young,they had been hit,slapped,kicked,just like me and he never gave them any attention until our divorce. Now they arte given cars,money(my money I need to live) credit cards,trips. All this hurts. They don't tell me what he does for them because they are now getting the attention. I live on my limited income and don't ask them for help because I don't want them going to him and telling him they help me put gas in my car,ect. Any advice? He is now onto his 3rd marriage,number 2 died within 2 years(she was very health,she was a friend of mine and healthy,he said he found he on the floor) number 3 was also a friend of mine,and is from an abusive marriage already,what was she thinking I wonder other then money) Who else has been through this kind of thing alone?
Sun Jan 22, 2012, 2:19:45 PM EST

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