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QUESTION:  
A man my 58 year-old sister is dating made a pass at me recently.  No, this is no mistake.  Should I tell her?

ASK COMPANIONSHIP RESPONDS:  
The only circumstances under which I would not tell your sister is if she never hears what other people are telling her – or, she acts out angrily towards the messengers of bad news.  If this is what your sister is like, then you don’t need to add fuel to the fire.  Otherwise, you should tell her – gently.  

People need to be educated about those with whom they have relationships.  Remember, we are judged by the company we keep, including those with whom we have intimate dealings.  I’d say something like, “Sis, remember Aunt Sally’s birthday party last month?  Well, I don’t want to upset you, but I care about you and your well being.  And so, you need to know that Harry made a pass at me during the party.  I’m not mistaken about it and what you chose to do about it is your business.  But I believe that you really need to know this.”   Be prepared to support your sister – this news may be devastating to her.  On the other hand, your sister may have been informed about Harry’s roving eye by others.  She may be choosing to ignore it.  And remember, whatever she chooses to do, that’s her business.  She IS an adult, after all.     

Sailinggirl49 By all means tell her! But in the future be very careful around him, if he pulls it again make it clear that you are not interested in dating anyone that has EVER dated a family member or try "Let's ask "Sally" what she thinks?" If he does not get a hint, you can always yell across the crowded room, "Sally, Tom wants me to go out with me a date to the movies, what do you think?". That should take care of him.
Sun Jan 9, 2011, 5:55:28 PM EST

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