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“OH CAROL:”

I have been divorced after 24 years of marriage and am newly single. I am apprehensive about getting back into the dating circle. It has been a long time and I am not a young girl anymore. Dating is not like it used to be. I am taking it very slowly. Have not been out on a date as of yet because I didn't feel like I was ready. I am finding myself tired of being along and want some companionship maybe for a movie, occasional dinner, etc. Any advice?
Takin’ It Slowly

LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear Takin’ It Slowly:

After 24 years of marriage plus the dating years prior, it's a daunting thought -- where do I begin?

You are right, dating is not what it used to be and neither are we.  lol

We certainly don't look the same as when we last dated. Most likely we've put on a few pounds and a crease here or there but then again, so did the men.

You might want to start with the free online dating sites. I am not telling you to get out and date yet. I am saying to start by chatting online and get your "sea legs" back. Learn how to be interested and interesting. You might even want to come from the perspective of not looking to "date" but rather, seeking  friends to do activities with. I must tell you that it does your ego good to be flirted with again.

Another great avenue is www.meetup.com. There you can search for activities based on YOUR interests and in your area. Some will be singles events and others not. It doesn't matter. If you like hiking, or wine, or movies, there will be a meetup for it... "If you like pina coladas, or getting caught in the rain..."

Don't overwhelm yourself thinking that each time you chat with someone, you must meet them. Quite the opposite.  You are chatting with people so you can figure out who are the ones that stand out. If you are not familiar with or comfortable with Instant Messenger, I suggest you become so. I am NOT saying to spend hours or days or weeks just IMing with someone . I am saying that it is a safe and comfortable way to start speaking with members of the opposite sex.

So don't get caught up in the "dating circle."  It’s too overwhelming.  Seek friends until you are ready and comfortable with the idea of dating.

Yours 4 Love,
Carol

Most Recent First Oldest First Most Popular First

dontgoover55 I live in North Alabama and we have the Meetup's here which are alot of fun! There are several groups who go walking,biking,hiking,movies,and just eating out as a group so you are never alone.Check it out.It also helps you stay in the loop. I do not want to get married again myself but I do still like to have fun with other people my age when my kids are busy with their families.
Mon Feb 6, 2012, 2:23:05 AM EST

dontgoover55 I live in North Alabama and we have the Meetup's here which are alot of fun! There are several groups who go walking,biking,hiking,movies,and just eating out as a group so you are never alone.Check it out.It also helps you stay in the loop. I do not want to get married again myself but I do still like to have fun with other people my age when my kids are busy with their families.
Mon Feb 6, 2012, 2:23:09 AM EST

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