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"Oh Carol:"

Hi there, I think in many ways I’m typical of the 50something woman of today.  I’m single (divorced after 18 years), and raised 2 kids, one in college now and the other has graduated and is out working.  I went back to school when my kids were young and now I’m professionally employed.  I own my own place and it’s small but comfortable.  I have dated several people for a while but I’m not really happy.  The men I’m meeting all seem to want a caretaker or a mother.  I’ve been there, done that.  What I’m looking for is a companion, a partner.  Someone who can offer some conversation that’s a little more stimulating than a report on their last doctor’s visit.  Is there anyone out there like that, or am I – and other women in my situation – stuck.

Stuck

LOVE 'N LIFE'S "OH CAROL" ANSWERS:

Dear Stuck:

There are many of us that are nodding in agreement. Whether the men need caretakers or sex partners or fill in the blank, until you meet the right one then they are the wrong ones. Too dumb, too smart, too much baggage, too little baggage, too nasty, too nice, too vindictive, not over their ex, and, may I add... the men will tell you same about the women!

I don't have a solution for you and my answer is short and sweet... you have two choices. Keep trying or stop trying.

Only you know what you want for your future. If your choice is to keep trying then I'd suggest that you expand your parameters about what's important to you in a man and where to meet them. Some people mistakenly narrow down their "list" actually believing that they can custom order what they like. There are 50 + women that won't date a bald man or one with a belly, well that leaves you with little to choose from, doesn't it?

Do the things you like to do and add in some online dating. Change up your routine. You need to look in the corners and find the right places for you!

"Looking for love in all the wrong places."

Yours 4 love,
Carol

Most Recent First Oldest First Most Popular First

AnnML Carol I think your point is well taken on getting out there and considering men that we may not have considered the first time around. My question to everyone is HAS anyone tried this and found LOVE?
Thu Mar 24, 2011, 11:22:28 AM EDT

jaggerapril Really thought about it before I began dating and decided to only date younger men. Also decided not to consider looks at all. So far this is working out great. Younger men are not looking for a caregiver and don't talk about their aches and pains. Is it love? Don't know yet, but it IS the most beautiful friendship of my life with lots of potential...
2 like this.
Fri Mar 25, 2011, 3:53:49 AM EDT

LovesToRead I love the idea of younger men! It shouldn't be just the actresses and famous ladies having all the fun.
1 like this.
Sat Apr 2, 2011, 9:17:00 PM EDT

uneeque35 My comment to AnnML, yes i did try this method, and found the most interesting man. In fact i met him on/line. Always thought i liked tall men. But men are men, tall, short, handsome, or not so handsome. He's a person that you may get to know and like. The person i met is shorter than me, but measures up to me in every way possible. And i found LOVE!
Sun Apr 3, 2011, 7:54:42 PM EDT

AnnML Ladies, you have made my day, thank you! It is inspiring to know you all have had luck. When you read advice columns you never know if the advice just sounds good or if it is realistic. It is wonderful knowing that there are such lovely hip women out there.
Sun Apr 3, 2011, 11:15:36 PM EDT

OhCarol YOung, old, short, tall, slim, chubby, none of those have anything to do with their needs. Finding the right person can come in all shapes and sizes. I've learned no to limit my scope and to be open-minded (within reason) and yes, I've found love and I've lost lost. Still looking with my eyes and heart wide open. Wishing you all love <3
Mon Apr 4, 2011, 7:38:59 AM EDT

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