Dear “OH CAROL:”
My son’s in-laws have decided to divorce.  They’ve separated and are lining up their lawyers.  Meanwhile, the mother-in-law has moved in with my son and her daughter.  I’ve been single for years and when I go to visit with my son and the grandkids, the mother-in-law is always there.  Well, I think she’s nice, really, really nice and I’d like to ask her out for a lunch sometime.  But I think my son would be very upset.  Do you think it would be okay to ask her out, or would it be weird?  After all, we both have the same grandkids.
Son’s Mother-In-Law



LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear ‘Son’s Mother-in-Law:’

You have been single for years and she has been married for more years. I doubt she is ready to begin dating and I think until she is really ready you could be setting up a potentially awkward family situation. In a perfect world...you and she hit it off, become an item and enjoy your mutual grandchildren happily ever after. In a real world, chances are she is too new, not ready and may not know it. Therefore, she will feel flattered that a man is interested in her. You might even end up in a relationship. We've all heard about the transitional or bridge relationship; that's the one we all need to help move us away from our past one and into our future one. "Like a bridge over troubled waters." The transitional partner ends up the one hurt. In this case not only could you end up being hurt, it could hurt the whole family dynamic. What if it ends badly, think about holidays and birthdays.

Befriend her for now. Listen when she needs ears. Make her laugh.

I think you also need to feel your son out on this as well. Of course you don't need his permission. You can date whoever you wish but it sure would be nice to have his blessing. I would also ask him to put out some feelers. See what he or his wife can find out regarding how her Mother feels about you. Take it very slow. She is way too new! Good luck!

Yours 4 Love,
Carol
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EDITOR’S NOTE:  In addition to serving as “Oh Carol” for After Fifty Living visitors, Carol Ziegler is a dating coach and an "online dating" expert.  If you need help writing your dating profile, or would like assistance selecting possible dating partners, consider utilizing Carol’s fee-based services.  Carol, who was a professional matchmaker for many years, can also guide and coach you through the process.  Like to know more? Email her at OhCoachCarol@gmail.com.

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