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“OH CAROL:”

My partner and I are both 50 - dating 8 months. He has a neighbor - whom he slept with "once" that always seems to be around. Family gatherings; visiting his place when I'm not there.  He is fully aware of how it makes me feel but yet we have many arguments over it - with me always relenting since they're "just friends".  Am I wrong to feel completely disrespected by my man?  I am not jealous or insecure by nature, but just the very thought of this woman being with him makes my skin crawl!
My Skin Is Crawling



LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear Skin Crawls:

No one can MAKE us feel jealous, jealousy comes from insecurity. You say that you are not typically this way and yet here you are feeling both jealous and insecure. I suggest you examine that first. What is it about him or about your relationship that affects you this way?

He is definitely not taking your feelings into consideration, knowing how much this bothers you yet he continues to behave this way. On the other hand, if it is as innocent as he claims, then from his perspective, he can't imagine why it bothers you.

Stop fighting about it. Fighting doesn't work and it makes you look ugly. Let it go and see what happens. He might thrive on your jealousy. It might make him feel loved by you. That is HIS insecurity, NOT YOURS! Stop feeding it.

Then there is the possibility that it isn't as innocent as he claims. I think if you let it be, you will figure it out. I refer to my boys, The Eagles:

"You can't hide your lyin' eyes
And your smile is a thin disguise
I thought by now you'd realize
There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes."

If he's lying, you will know.

In the meantime, think about why you feel this way and why you are not trusting what he tells you.

Your 4 Love,
Carol

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