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“OH CAROL:”

I lost my wife of 36 years a few months ago.  We had a wonderful marriage and a good life together.  Now though, I find myself ever so lonely.  My wife and I had friends. We’d go out to eat and even took some cruises together.  I realize that most of this involved couples and now I’m the odd guy out. I’m not saying I want to run out and replace my wife right away, but how do I let folks know that I’d like to be included in the plans?
Lonely Widower

LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear Lonely Widower:

I am sad for you for your loss. I am sure you are feeling quite a huge void in your life.

My guess is that your friends are trying to be respectful of your mourning period and therefore not asking you to join them for some "fun". I am sure you can understand that.

Not knowing your personality and whether you are more subtle or assertive would alter how you can go about being included.

A subtle hint could be to just call one of your friends and casually mention that you've been getting a little bored and restless sitting home alone week after week. You could step it up a little by asking if they have any plans coming up in the near future and if so that you you'd love to be included.

If you want to be a bit more assertive, you make a plan and call and them. You could say, "I've been wanting to see that new movie _____ and I'm calling to see if you'd like to see it with me." or "I've missed going to such and such restaurant, care to meet me there this week for a bite?"

I wish you all the best.

Your 4 Love,
Carol

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