Dear “OH CAROL:”

I met a wonderful woman in Florida during the winter.  She works long hours and I am up here in Ct. now for the spring, summer and fall.  I can't stop thinking of her. I feel like I am under a spell thinking of moving to Florida. Do I?  What do I do?  No job down there.
Head Over Heels



LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear “Head Over Heels:”

Funny that I should be responding to this while I am down in Florida and a part of me is pondering the same thing (except my reason is not the same).

First up-- HOORAY for you that you met a wonderful woman! Since you met her so recently, I would not advise that you run so fast to give up all that you have in CT for the spell of this woman. 

Communication is so easy. You can text her in the middle of the day to say that you're thinking of her. You can Skype with her and have some face to face, and believe it or not, we still have phones! 

I feel that it seems so imbalanced for you. She works long hours, therefore, her time for you is limited. You have no work in Florida so you will be relying on her to not only support you (until you find work) but also, because you won't be working, your day will be spent looking forward to her return from her job. You will be all excited like a puppy and it is likely that, after a long day at work, she will probably be tired. Work is hard to find these days and depending upon how long you're unemployed she can grow resentful. All of that is providing she is on the same page as you. I honestly can't imagine that having just met you that she is ready to move you in, and support you until you find work. If she is, then this is a big decision for you to make. 

You don't say if money is an issue but the fact that you pointed out "no job down there" indicates to me that you are not ready for retirement and still need to be employed. 

How about sitting tight for a while, get yourself an airline mileage credit card. Build points on it and visit her when possible. Have her come up to visit you as well. Sing "I'm leavin' on a jet plane" for a few months and see how this progresses. Don't jump to give it all up. Make the LDR (long distance relationship) work for as long as you can. It is a good indicator of what's to come!

Yours 4 Love,
Carol 
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EDITOR’S NOTE:  In addition to serving as “Oh Carol” for After Fifty Living visitors, Carol Ziegler is a dating coach and an "online dating" expert.  If you need help writing your dating profile, or would like assistance selecting possible dating partners, consider utilizing Carol’s fee-based services.  Carol, who was a professional matchmaker for many years, can also guide and coach you through the process.  Like to know more? Email her at OhCoachCarol@gmail.com. 

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