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“OH CAROL:”

My marriage has been over for a good couple of years now, although, for financial reasons, we won’t be filing for divorce for another year.  And because I have 3 kids (15, 13, and 12) I still live in the home.  I decided to test the waters, and I went to an online dating site.  I met a woman that I’ve seen now several times and we really, really click.  Before we went out, I told her a white lie.  I told her that I was divorced – which I will be – but I’m not now.  She found out that I’m not divorced and she wants to break it off.  I’m willing to move out of my house so she can see that there’s progress on the divorce but she says it doesn’t matter.  What can I do to get her to change her mind and stay in my life? 
Divorced – almost!



LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear Divorced – Almost:

A white lie? If you call that a white lie, I shudder to think what you consider truly lying! A white lie is telling someone that you love their new shoes when in fact you think they are hideous. You do that so as not to hurt their feelings. Telling someone you are divorced when in fact you are still married is completely self serving. You lied because you knew that she would not be interested IN YOU if she knew the truth. It was all about you.

I can't tell you how to change her mind. "Knowing that you lied, straight-faced while I cried" Give her (or someone else) a "reason to believe."

All I can say is be honest. Really honest. Being in the same house is one thing... are you still sharing a bed? Does your wife know you are "testing the waters" and dating?

My advice - don't date until you have moved out. Save everyone all that pain (including yourself)!

Yours 4 Love,
Carol

Most Recent First Oldest First Most Popular First

Sailinggirl49 You are joking right? You are MARRIED, until you move out of the house that you share with your wife and children, then have that paper in hand that says you are DIVORCED, forget dating. You lied to that lady, and most likely to your wife too. Leave the lady alone she is way to good for the likes of you, move on with your life and your divorce if you are really getting one or fix your marriage with your wife (the lady that you live with right now).
Sat Feb 26, 2011, 6:11:19 PM EST

LovesToRead Carol, hit the nail on the head on this one. Don’t cause anyone more heart ache, your kids, your wife, or the women you may be meeting. You are not being honest with anyone including yourself.
Sun Feb 27, 2011, 11:55:28 AM EST

kathyc1959 honesty! always always always the best policy. no matter the situation. lies will never fail to come back and bite you in the butt sooner or later. and they bite hard usually. just be honest! it goes a long long way with me anyway. lotsa luck
Tue Mar 1, 2011, 4:33:46 PM EST

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