Dear “OH CAROL:”

I’ve been good friends with a man for a couple of years.  Recently we decided to take it to a new level and start dating. Problem is I’ve been assigned a very important project at work and I’ve been really busy so I haven’t had time to date or socialize at all.  My friend is upset.  He says I should be making time for him. I told him things will ease up in a couple of months, but he continues to hound me.  I’m beginning to think that he’s not very understanding, and even though I thought I knew him, I really don’t.  What do you suggest I do?
A Love Connection - Or Not?



LOVE ‘N LIFE’S “OH CAROL” ANSWERS:

Dear “Love Connection;” 

We all dream of having a love connection with someone who is a best friend. You are lucky to have found it! So, ask yourself why didn't it happen sooner with him? Was there a something there that you saw but chose to bury?

It seems childish and selfish of him to not understand what you do for work particularly since you were friends before being in a relationship. He's known for a couple of years what you do.  So, why now? Now that you are involved has he become insecure and controlling? You are right to assess that he is not very understanding because he isn't! I am sure you are pondering "should I stay or should I go now?" (Thanks to The Clash for that lyric!)

Of course you need to have a head to head on this. Find out what he is worried about. I think it sounds like fear, insecurity. Maybe you can assure him of how you feel about him. Can you put a few hours aside for him on a weekend? I think you might be being selfish as well. As important as your work and this project is, all work and no play makes everyone unhappy. I suggest that you both give a little and see how you can compromise and manage your time better to the advantage of your relationship.

Yours 4 Love,
Carol
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EDITOR’S NOTE:  In addition to serving as “Oh Carol” for After Fifty Living visitors, Carol Ziegler is a dating coach and an "online dating" expert.  If you need help writing your dating profile, or would like assistance selecting possible dating partners, consider utilizing Carol’s fee-based services.  Carol, who was a professional matchmaker for many years, can also guide and coach you through the process.  Like to know more? Email her at OhCoachCarol@gmail.com.

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