Fun & Humor

Memory Lane Alert! A Case for the Maytag Lonely Repairman. Oh my…

What you are about to read is the truth. The whole truth. And nothing but the truth. So help me Maytag Lonely Repairman. Here’s what happened… Years ago, Jan and I agreed to purchase a Maytag washer and dryer. We were convinced Maytag was a trusted brand. This was based on exhaustive research: Jan’s comment, “Gary, I feel sorry for that poor Maytag...Read More

When Your Wife Says ‘THE DEN’… She Means ‘THE DEN’

If you are a married woman, what you about to read may incite a violent action. I’m talking about something even worse than opening the kitchen cupboard that sets off a Tupperware avalanche! “Hello 9-1-1!!! This is Eunice Entwistle calling. I need help! I’m buried in a gazillion plastic containers and mismatched lids. It’s reaching all the way up t...Read More

My Smart TV and Other Oxymorons

I just got a smart TV. It’s an oxymoron (a combination of words that have contradictory meanings) like jumbo shrimp and a little pregnant. Years ago life was simple. There were three national networks – NBC, CBS, and ABC. Trusted names like Harry Reasoner, Barbara Walters, and Howard K. Smith maintained broadcast news standards. Fake news and alter...Read More

Nobody Likes a Mr. Sniffles!

Reader Alert… The following contains graphic descriptions and is intended for mature readers. People with a weak stomach may puke. I told Jan the way any sensitive middle age man would tell his wife he has thick mucous in his throat, “Dear, I’m sorry I was horking all night long and kept you awake.” Horking– Latin for ...Read More

When stars align: Jupiter in Retrograde 2017

Maybe you’ve had a bad week or things didn’t seem to go as planned- it may be safe to blame Mercury retrograde for the troubles but not all planets incite such chaos when they move into retrograde status. This happens when a planet appears to move in the opposite direction than it normally does. One of the best planet retrogrades is Jup...Read More

Car Navigation Systems Lead To Divorce!

Jan and I made our 2017 New Year’s resolutions… I resolved to lose the final 15 pounds on last year’s 10-pound diet. Jan shocked me with her New Year’s resolution. “Let’s learn to use your cars electronic navigation system.” Hmmm… I thought carefully about what I should say. I needed to remain calm and convinced myself not to overreact. Then I scre...Read More

Transform Your Husband into Fabio

Ladies. I’m telling you. It’s like I’m a new man! It began when my wife gave me my gifts for Christmas. Bang! Just like that I’ve been restaged. I’M ALL NEW FOR 2017! Jan is onto something so special that I’m convinced she’s discovered the perfect elixir that can transform millions of football obsessed, Frank’s hot sauce crazed, beer guzzling baby ...Read More

The ON Button. The ON Button! Where’s It Gone?

The kids call me Techie Nana. So why can’t I find the “on” button? In the old days there were two buttons, on and off. They were basic like vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. Then we upgraded. On and off morphed into a “power button”. Wikipedia calls it a power symbol. As technology went global, someone decided that English words should be rep...Read More

Hearing Loss Among Middle-Age Men.

I have a simple theory that goes like this… The longer men are married, the more they lose their hearing. And you know why? Because they want to! I’ve always believed I have been blessed with pretty good ears. But not for important stuff like making myself look 40-years younger by piercing my ears so I can dangle jewelry on them like a rapper: 6″ g...Read More

Back Splash Backlash!

It’s official. I had a DTM: Donald Trump Moment. A Donald Trump Moment is when a middle age man– suddenly, right out of the blue– says something stupid! My Donald Trump Moment happened during the Christmas holidays while visiting friends at their new home. It is a condo and it’s absolutely beautiful! As I walked around in my...Read More

2017. It sounds more like a movie than a year.

There are movies called 1941 (hysteria in California after the bombing of Pearl Harbor), 1984 (Big Brother), and the infamous 2001 (a space odyssey). What can we expect when 2017 screens? New movies will follow, including The War with Grandpa and Downsizing. If they don’t appeal to you try The Six Billion Dollar Man – a high-cost revival of the Six...Read More

Living, Loving, and Laughing – After 50!

THANKS to AFL friend, Dewey Seeto who just sent these along! Gotta laugh, gotta love ’em!  I’m betting you’ll see either yourself – or a significant other in your life – in at least one of these jewels! Enjoy – and THANKS, Dewey! A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest ...Read More

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