Bud’s Rantings

My Dog’s Better Than Yours!

Pets. Most of us have at least one. Some are schnoodles, pixie-bobs, and Mexican alligators. Not interested in live critters? Adopt a pet rock, Japanese robo, or silicon jellyfish “living” in neon aquariums. Studies have shown that pets are good for you – even fake ones. They reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and blood pressure. There are three c...Read More

The Interval Between

It’s the week after Christmas, or ‘holiday’ if you’re part of the alchemist crowd that mixed Jesus with Visa and got Santa. Hopefully you dodged the dictates of the Office of Diversity and Inclusion that mandated all celebrations be generic. Whichever season it’s called, the last week in the year seems to be a peaceful one. The frenzy is over. The ...Read More

High School…A Return To The Cellblock

Deadlines…cruel and unusual punishment inflicted on writers by editors. Mine calls. By tomorrow, she says. What’s the theme, I ask? Fiftieth anniversary of the Beatles’ invasion, she says. Write about how their advent influenced high school students. I remind her that my high school days ended before the mop-haired Brits arrived. Well, she says, wr...Read More

Inspiration

If inspiration comes in spurts, mine has sputtered out. The dreaded ‘writer’s block’ has filled the vacuum. Ideas are harder to find than hen’s teeth.                                                   ...Read More

The Epidural

The searing pain in my hip shut down my mobility. Fix me, the nerve said. Which explains why I sit in the reception room of the Pain Clinic, waiting my turn. Pain and mostly old women fill the room, waiting also for relief. A man with Einstein hair sits across from me, unkempt, grimacing. The nude on his large silver belt buckle smiles. His wife is...Read More

Friday Night Frenzy

Nothing unglues the fabric of small towns faster than Friday night high school football. The blood of this gladiatorial sport flows hot and red. Every father relives his own glory days. Bragging rights are on the line.  I know these things.  My name is Harold. I survived it. ********** I w...Read More

I Didn't See It

Seeing is a relative term. It depends on the viewer’s perspective. Men have selective eyesight. It’s a prime cause of consternation between the sexes. ********** It was a small oak leaf. Insignificant. Once green, now brown. It lay curled in a fetal position in the crevice of the shoe moulding at ...Read More

The Boy with the Tiny Hands

Something fundamental is happening. Have you noticed? Things are changing fast. Children are becoming billionaires overnight. Their fingers monetize everything new. Nothing’s safe. Irrelevance stalks our generation.   Tiny hands are at work, at play, at war. Minds are being colonized by apps, digits and pixels. Communication is inst...Read More

Meatloaf Did Him In

“He stopped loving her today, they placed a wreath upon his door, soon they’ll carry him away, he stopped loving her today.”  George T. Jones. A classic obituary.  ********** My wife and I are having dinner.  Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, spinach and biscuits. The Heinz ketc...Read More

Kiss Off

Euphemism: a mild or indirect word or expression substituted for one considered to be too harsh or blunt when referring to something unpleasant or embarrassing. **********           A man and woman sit at a two-top table behind us and argue. Words are sharp and harsh. The woman comes ...Read More

A Letter From Aunt Mabel

“I am not here to think, but to be, feel, live!” Johann von Herder The other day we found a letter from Aunt Mabel. I thought I’d send it on to you. Humor will have to sit in the back of the bus today.   Times are complicated now that the world is inter-connected. But it was not always so. There was a time when things were si...Read More

A Case of Wishful Thinking

Some actually believe if it weren’t for mules, men would be the dumbest creatures on the planet. Hearing and comprehension don’t equate. Yesterday proved the position of my lowly estate.   **********   It was like this, see.  I come home, stagger through the door, beat up from another onslaught of the details of life. I n...Read More

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