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Can your marriage survive and thrive during retirement?

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Can your marriage survive and thrive during retirement?

Maybe your dream of retirement is that small homestead in rural America. Maybe your spouse thinks that sounds like more work than working the career a few more years. Statistics show that the number of people over 65 who divorce is growing. One of the main reasons for this is that people who have glided through life and ignored ongoing relationship problems suddenly find that they can no longer ignore their problems anymore; and now can’t or don’t want to fix them.

We have looked forward to retiring and have a retirement savings, budget, and plan. We have been a team for decades and have done volunteer work together as well as teaching and coaching work together. We have worked with families at our church on financial struggles when life doesn’t work out as anticipated. While we enjoy our together time and always look forward to being together, I fear we may need to learn even more about each other quickly when we’re together and alone 24 / 7.

Sometimes difficulties slip into marriages as we retire. These challenges could be for many different reasons as some habits were tolerated easier when we weren’t together 24 7. Sometimes, we have to face a fact we have been pushing aside that we’ve been drifting apart for a long time. It was easy not to address it because we were busy with our interests, careers, and kids and now, suddenly, we need to rediscover and appreciate this person we have loved for decades. Sometimes, each of us has a different picture painted in our minds of retirement.

Tips For Surviving and Thriving with Marriage In Retirement

1) Discuss your retirement picture in vivid details. All relationship problems can be complicated if one or both partners are unable to communicate or deal with stress. A happy relationship and happy retirement go together; if you can’t resolve differences, you may need counseling.

2) Talk about how much time you hope and wish to spend on each adventure or interest. Eventually you will have to settle down to a routine with your partner, and it may not be the routine you think it will be

3) Have a conversation about when you both will retire and what needs to happen before one or both of you take that step. . Plus, have some financial data in front of you so that your plans can be built on a solid foundation. 

4) Discuss retiring together and at separate times to see which one works for your circumstance. Not considering what awaits you the day after your retirement party is a frightening way to dive into retirement and it can put tremendous stress on a relationship. Start planning early and discuss what both of you think and hope retirement has in-store.

Avoid a Costly Divorce

It’s amazing what can happen when conversations begin, and decisions can be made and even a compromise here and there. This can help avoid a costly divorce. Your marriage can survive and thrive even during retirement. You get the opportunity to enjoy life together 24 7 filled with its ups and downs, even financial setbacks, and things none of us can control. Relationships always need nurturing even when you’ve been together for decades.

thriving marriage during retirement will take planning together with continued courage and commitment.  

Do you have a question for Carol?

After Fifty Living™ was founded by Jo-Anne Lema, a genuine Boomer and member of the 50+ generation. As she likes to say, “Our enormous generation is charting new territory – we’re healthier, better educated, and more financially fit than any other generation at this time. And, as we march through history, 110 million strong – unique, new issues are developing. It’s exciting to be a part of the development and growth of AfterFiftyLiving.com. This is a historic solution for a historic generation.”

Jo-Anne spent many years in the financial and operations side of higher education after having received a doctorate in education management and administration from Harvard, and an MBA from Southern New Hampshire University. Launching out on her own, though, has been the fulfillment of a life dream. Jo-Anne believes that “AfterFiftyLiving™ will delight its visitors, catalyze its partners, and will significantly benefit those who engage it.”

Residing in New England along with her husband of 35+ years, she never ceases to brag about her two children and 4 grandkids!

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