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“You’re Never Too Old…”

“You’re never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” – CS Lewis

What a great saying! So upbeat, so positive, so reaffirming.

But you’ve gotta ask, “Is it really true?” I’ve concluded that there may be a time when setting another goal or dreaming a new dream is indeed impossible – but (and this is a big BUT) – not being able to do so isn’t really related to your age. So I’ll tell you my bias right up front. When I’m around, don’t use “age” as an excuse for not achieving, or changing, or improving, or yes, even dreaming new dreams or setting new goals.

But if you live long enough, you’re bound to experience some of life’s difficult challenges. You may learn that sometimes a door that was open will be shut in front of you and regardless of how fervently you hope or pray or dream, that door will not ever open again.

Recently we learned of the death of a 48-year old NH police chief, killed in the line of duty only 8 days before he was to officially retire. He and his wife had a month’s long vacation planned. And so his wife has seen the doorway to a wonderful retirement slammed fiercely in her face. And she’ll no longer be able to set new goals or dream new dreams that involve her now deceased husband. But that’s not because she’s too old. It’s because life has intervened.

Some of us may have lost jobs – and may be having a tough time finding new work. It’s hard to be positive with that cloud overhead. But do keep setting new goals. Explore new avenues, hone your skills, network and connect. You may feel at times that you’re facing discrimination because of your age – and you may very well be right. But don’t let that keep you down. If a doorway has been slammed shut in front of you, move sideways instead.

Every time a door has been slammed shut in my face, (and there have been many slammings over the years), I’ve fought hard to rise out of the ashes and dream a new dream. Some may think it’s harder to dream new dreams if you’re After Fifty. Actually, After Fifty dreams are probably “better quality” dreams, as they’ve been honed by years of experience and the wisdom that comes with maturity. As a group, we’re probably more insightful about what will and won’t work.

So will we ever be too old to set a new goal or dream a new dream? I say age alone won’t prevent new goal setting. What about you – do you have a new goal, a new dream?

Posted in Goals, ageism, aging, life lessons | 2 Comments

Aging and Obesity

A recent study reports that “obesity is associated with reduced memory and thinking skills in adults aged 60 to 70, especially those with greater amounts of abdominal fat.” The study does caution that obesity doesn’t “cause” reduced memory – but the relationship between the two is strong. Now, maybe we can agree that aging is not necessarily an easy or continuously pleasant process. Those among us who face age discrimination, or aching joints, or sudden singlehood know the challenges. So, why would we want to add to that pile of challenges by engaging in activity that would knowingly reduce our cognitive abilities and skills?

Every time I fumble for a name, or realize that I simply can’t remember where I put the keys, I simultaneously experience a level of panic. What does this mean? Am I losing it? Is mental incapacity around the bend?

There are a lot of reasons why people should do their utmost to stay in shape. As we age, though, it becomes increasingly important to prevent the slide into sedentary oblivion. So let’s think about this. Obesity not only hinders our ability to perform physical tasks, we now know that it significantly hinders our cognitive functioning. Forget about excuses. Time is trucking. The choice is yours!

Posted in Memory, Obesity, aging, fitness | Leave a comment

Living to 100

Do you want to live to be 100? Someone sent me an article (see link below) that identifies health and lifestyle habits that it says will increase your odds of getting there.

But let’s start at the starting line. If you continue living in your current fashion, how long would you expect to live? I tried this Longevity Calculator, and it’s great! Give it a try (it’s free) – and answer the questions honestly. Once you know how long you can expect to live, if your life continues on its current path, then answer the “live to 100” question.

Those who say that they do want to live to blow 100 candles on their birthday cake usually have a few qualifiers that they add. Here are the qualifiers that I personally would add:

1) I don’t want to be physically frail. I want as much vitality and vim as possible.

2) I pray that the dementia that afflicted my father will not pass to me. I want to be able to partake fully in the world – regardless of my age – and that requires an active, curious mental capacity.

3) I would want to still have a social community around me and in which I participate.

4) I would want to have a sense of purpose.

5) I would not want to be a “burden” to my loved ones – physically, financially, or otherwise.

I ask you to undertake the same exercise that I just did. Ask yourself under what circumstances would you want to be able to live to 100 and more.  Then turn to this article - for the health and lifestyle habits it identifies – to help you get there. As you review each of the 11 items, ask yourself: am I willing to do this (flossing daily, moving around and exercising daily, maintaining old friendships and developing new ones, for example). Be as honest with yourself as you were with the Longevity Calculator above.

If you’re going to make it 100 – and be happy that you made it there – then you’ve got to “walk the walk.” People who simply pay lip-service to this kind of advice, well, they’ll fall significantly short of the mark.

Hopefully, most of us have many years ahead of us. Let’s make the most of them!

Posted in aging, fitness, health | Leave a comment

Workmen’s Tools: Definitions With A Twist!

If you’re “After Fifty” there’s a good chance you’ve handled some workmen’s tools along the way. Here are some definitions that are bound to ring true to many of us. Enjoy!!

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, ‘Oh sh@#!’

SKIL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle… It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. It is especially valuable at being able to find the EXACT location of the thumb or index finger of the other hand.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.

Note: We don’t have a clue as to the author of these definitions. If you think you may know who wrote these, let us know. We’d like to acknowledge them properly. Thanks.

Posted in humor | Leave a comment

No One Is Looking?

You’ve probably noticed that we have a lot of articles on After Fifty Living that address the topic of healthy living. Our topics include heart health, disease control, addiction, among others, and oh yes, obesity. So I, more than most people, should be “walking the walk” – in addition to my constantly talking the talk. But now the moment of truth has arrived.

The New Year started and, like millions of others, I made a resolution: I would lose the 10 pounds I had gained since October (do you believe that – since October and that was January 1st???), plus 5 more, to boot! But like legions of others, it is now the end of February and I have not been successful in achieving my resolution – or in even making a dent in it. Well, it’s no wonder – it takes effort to be successful – not just wishful thinking.

But over this last week I’ve had an epiphany – an awakening. An automobile company was announcing in a recent ad that they built special features into their recent models – even though no one told them they had to. And then I thought of a saying I heard once (sorry, I don’t know who said it) – but it goes something like this: you can measure a man by what he does when he thinks no one is looking. That night, when I went downstairs to let in the cat, I thought to myself, “Well, I’ll just spend a little time while I’m here in the kitchen with my old friend, Mr. Chocolate Ice Cream – and who’ll be the wiser?” And then it hit me – like a thunderbolt. Who am I kidding?

So, last Wednesday marked the beginning of Lent – and even though I’m not particularly religious, I decided that would mark my start. I’m accountable to no one but me – and while a weight loss would be great, doing the “right” thing, (in this case, saying “good-bye” to the likes of  Mr. Chocolate Ice Cream) is a personal goal.

So, I’m welcoming a lot of new friends into my life, interesting fruits and vegetables, and more. And it no longer matters whether someone is “looking.” I know I’ll do the right thing. I’m looking at myself – and I like what I see. And as a bonus, over these last four days, I’ve lost 2 pounds. Not a whole bunch – but it’s a great start. So I’ll close with another saying: to walk a million miles, you have to take the first couple of steps.

Posted in fitness, health, life lessons | 1 Comment

Baby Boomers and Hepatitis C

It’s been reported widely in the news over the last two days – but you may have missed it. Baby Boomers are at serious risk for having been infected with Hepatitis C. An estimated 3.2 M in the US are infected – and it’s estimated that 2 out of 3 of them are Baby Boomers. Put another way, 1-in-33 Boomers are infected with the disease – although more than half (maybe three-quarters) of those infected don’t even know it!

Why are we Baby Boomers at such a high risk? There are three ways the disease is transmitted: intravenous drug use (which was popularized with Boomers); blood transfusions prior to 1992 (when screening for the virus began); and sexual contact.

Routine physical exams do not screen for Hepatitis C. Ask your doctor for the test. Even though there are no cures, if you do have the disease, there are treatments available. And don’t wait! You need to treat it before your liver develops cirrhosis – and before it deteriorates so badly you need a liver transplant, or worse.

For your convenience, a news report from the UPI can be found here - and a video from NBC Nightly News is here. So read, watch, and then call – call your doctor for a test.

Posted in Baby Boomers, Hepatitis C, health | Leave a comment

Taking Away the Car Keys

Recently NBC Nightly News ran a segment on a difficult conversation many After Fiftiers either have had or will be having with their aging parents. Topic of the conversation: Taking Away the Car Keys (from elderly parents).

I looked for pointers in the NBC segment - things like, how to begin the conversation; how to counter-act defensive arguments; what to do if the parent just won’t listen or becomes belligerent – or worse. I looked because most of us will face these issues when the time comes. Instead, NBC presented a very atypical family. Aging parent (age 90) had initiated the conversation (yes, you read that one right) and his son and daughter-in-law were helping him transition to a more limited driving schedule (no more night-time driving, 10-mile driving radius around the house, etc.). I bet 9-out- of-10 of us will not encounter that kind of scenario when it is our turn. Driving represents independence – for all of us – and most will do everything in their power to maintain that independence.

However eHow.com provides an interesting article, “How to Take Away the Car Keys from an Aging Parent.” Here are the article’s 5 main points, in summary.
1) Take a ride with your parent as driver. How skillful is her driving. Does she become confused, agitated, lost? Has reaction time slowed?
2) If parent is getting lost or forgetful while driving, this may be a sign of dementia. Check this out with her doctor.
3) Suggest that your parent re-take the driver’s test. If you talk honestly with your parent about your concern for her safety (and the safety of others) she may agree to be re-tested.
4) If you’re not making progress, and if you’ve enlisted family and friends to talk with her and there’s still no progress, contact your Dept. of Motor Vehicles to report your concerns. They may revoke the license.
5) If all else fails, remove access to the car. This is not easy – but it could save lives.

In my case, my parent would not budge. The conversations were disappointing. Fortunately, though, the state required mother to take a vision test to renew her license. She marched belligerently into the Registry office, and took the eye exam. A Registry employee then asked her for her license – and tore it up. “Why?” my mother stammered. “Because you’re blind,” came the answer. “You have no business behind the wheel of a car. We’ll call you a cab.” And thus marked the end of my mother’s “driving days.”

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Family Caregiving

One day a week I join with 65 million other people in the US, and assume the role of family caregiver. I drive 40 miles to my mother’s home, and do bills & pills, grocery shop, wash clothes and dishes, take her to appointments (which I have made for her), and more…much more. Sometimes, though, I just sit and listen. During the rest of the week, I do things that don’t require me being on-the-spot. Am I a noble person? I don’t know. I don’t think of what I do in those terms. I do it because it needs to be done. And, like the 65 M others out there doing the same thing, I don’t charge for my services.

It’s been estimated that annual costs associated with family caregiving in the US amount to approximately $535 Billion. But wait – 70% of the cost for caregiving services, about $375 Billion, is provided free of charge by people like me (with only $158 billion in cash actually being “spent”). But does that mean that 70% of services are really free? Read on – and draw your own conclusions.

• 20% of employed caregivers over 50 report symptoms of depression compared to 8% for non-caregiving peers.
• 40 – 70% of family caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression …(and about) half of these caregivers meet the diagnostic criteria for major depression.
• Family caregivers experiencing extreme stress have been shown to age prematurely. This level of stress can take as much as 10 years off a family caregiver’s life.
• The stress of caring for a person with dementia can impact the caregiver’s immune system for up to three years – thereby increasing the caregiver’s chances of developing a chronic illness.
• 72% of family caregivers report not going to the doctor as often as they should.

See the National Family Caregivers Assoc. website for these statistics, and more.And while we After Fiftiers are struggling right now to provide care for our parents, our spouses, our disabled children or other loved ones, what are we going to do to prepare for our own care when the time comes. Read those stats again. Family caregiving is thankless, stressful, damaging to one’s health and well-being. Yet, if we continue to wake up each morning, then the day will come when we’ll need care, too!

As we After Fiftiers age, we will see the numbers of those diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia double within our lifetimes. Exactly how is care going to be provided?

We need a national discussion about how caregiving will be provided for After Fiftiers in the very near future. We can’t continue to provide caregiving in a haphazard, health-depleting fashion. A tsunami of caregiving need is heading in our direction. And I predict – if we don’t prepare, then this tsunami is going to wipe every last one of us off our feet!

Posted in adult child, aging, caregiving | 1 Comment

An Alzheimer’s Cure – Around the Bend?

Yes, it may be too soon to start the celebratory parade. Which parade, you ask? The “We’ve Found A Cure For Alzheimer’s” Parade… But – we now have reason to believe that the sun may be ready to shine!

Here’s what’s happening. Read the headline – “Cancer drug reverses Alzheimer’s in mice – study” (by Kerry Sheridan). This is breath-taking, spectacular news. Yes, we’re not mice. And no, it hasn’t been proven to work in humans – yet. But wisely, scientists, researchers, and the medical community are moving full speed ahead to test the drug (bexarotine) in clinical trials “for humans (which) should produce early results in the coming year.” The drug (brand name Targretin) works “by boosting levels of a protein, Apolipoprotein E (ApoE), that helps clear amyloid plaque buildup in the brain, a key hallmark of Alzheimer’s disease.”

If bexarotine (Targretin) DOES work in humans, it couldn’t have been discovered a moment too soon. Within the next 15-18 years, the numbers of us who will develop Alzheimer’s may DOUBLE – affecting 70+ million worldwide. The Associated Press reports that “the NIH currently spends $450 million a year on Alzheimer’s research. In his budget proposal to be released next week, President Barack Obama will ask Congress for $80 million in new money for Alzheimer’s research next year.” But, will even this increase be enough? Patient advocates say that this spending is far too little, given the disease’s coming toll. It’s estimated that research expenditures of approximately $2 Billion a year may be necessary to effectively combat and conquer the disease.

Everyone who’s concerned about Alzheimer’s will find the results of the “mice” study to be ever so hopeful. In the meantime, though, we’ve got to convince Congress to allocate sufficient money to get this research done – and done right! Contact your representative in Congress. Let your rep know how important this is – for all After Fiftiers!

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Personal Responsibility

We ran an article recently (Paula Deen’s Not To Blame for Your Waistline, Y’All) that really struck a chord. Seems like lots of us are simply fed-up with those who blame everyone and everything else for whatever negative thing is going on in life. And so, without trying to sound like a “scolding grandmother,” here’s my two cents (and five points) on the topic.

First, if you live long enough, something difficult, somewhere along the line, is bound to happen to you. We’re human, after all. Life isn’t always fun and roses. And that’s a “truth” you can bank on!

Second, to live reasonably during the “difficult” time, it’s important to understand the “why.” Frequently, that answer may be right in front of us, literally. Go look in a mirror. That reflection you see staring back at you? Yah, you! Honestly, now, what role did YOU play in bringing about this difficult situation?

Third, there are no “do-overs” in life. Whatever happened, happened. What was said can’t be taken back. So, after you figure out “why” it happened, get over it. And make sure you don’t repeat the same pattern again.

Fourth, WE (you, me, the guy next door), are the captains of our own ship. We get to chart the course of our lives. The sea of life may have been rocky for you up to this point, but you get to decide what direction you’re going to sail in – from this moment onward.

Fifth, Take responsibility for your own life. Stop waiting for others to do for you. Stop blaming others for your situation.

Who can forget the legal case in which a woman sued McDonald’s because McD’s didn’t “tell” her the coffee she ordered (and then put on her lap as she drove off) was hot. And I believe the fact that she won this case was a serious set-back for personal responsibility advocates everywhere. Yes, we have her to thank for the message on all our coffee cups (Caution – contents may be hot), but for heaven’s sake, what WAS she thinking??? So let’s not cop-out and blame all the McD’s in this world.

If you’re over-weight, Paula Deen isn’t force-feeding you. If you drink too much, or you need to stop smoking, or there are other things going on in your life that need to change, remember, that change begins with you. YOU.

Posted in Personal Responsibility, fitness, health, life lessons | 2 Comments